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Jul 14

Stop that, you'll go blind!Click for full image

Tom Noir’s Art Direction: Okay, this book is heroic Celtic fantasy, but the question is how do we sell it to the ladies? I’ll tell you how: full frontal nudity. What do you mean we can’t – okay, fine. Throw some strategically placed splashes over it to please the censors. But just so people get the picture, fill the remaining cover space with pictures of swords.

Published 1993

You might remember this from here.

Seriously, why do all these guys shave their body hair?
Amazing! Many thanks to Tom!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.78 out of 10)
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33 Responses to “The Silver Hand”

  1. cutmanmike Says:

    Isn’t that every man’s pose after a really long and victorious wank?

  2. SophaLoaf Says:

    cutmanmike>>> I thought that the outcome of what you suggest was either hairy palms or going blind…who would have thought it gave you a silver hand?

  3. cutmanmike Says:

    @SophaLoaf: Depends how much man milk projectiles over your hand!

  4. SI Says:

    Cut Soph> Just because we are all thinking about it doesn’t mean we have to say it out loud! lol

    BTW pretty small splashes covering his ‘Justice Truncheon’ in my opinion.

  5. admin Says:

    Thought I should say. While preparing this post my sweet dear mother brought me a cup of tea. Glancing quickly at the cover she commented:

    “What type of site do you run again? Is this why you aren’t married yet?”

    Touche mother, touche.

  6. Herm Says:

    I feel oddly inadequate now for having a male lead character with actual chest hair.

    Good job his bodyguard waxes his, or we’d be left with nothing for the ladies to look at.

  7. SophaLoaf Says:

    being a straight lady, i am not impressed…he looks like he plays for the other team.

    @SI Yes, the small splashes may have something to do with it.

  8. DeadRobot Says:

    Red Hankie, left pocket.

  9. Tom Noir Says:

    Surprisingly, this DOES depict an actual scene from the book although in my mind’s eye it didn’t seem quite so… erotic.

    Anyway, I was fortunate to read it originally with a much less, um, vivid cover.

  10. DSDan Says:

    When I was young I took this book to church and read it between services. It got some weird looks, but I told them Lawhead was a Christian (he is), so it was ok.

  11. Kathleen Says:

    now that I know about this cover, I will accept no substitutes.

  12. Jen Says:

    Maybe it’s just me, but trying to punch out crossed swords on a shield doesn’t seem wise even IF your hand is made out of silver.

  13. Phil Says:

    Of course the title is wrong. It should be “The Silver Forearm”.

  14. SI Says:

    DSDan> Christian!?! Well that explains the well toned body.. trade mark of the Christian. I’m kidding of course.

  15. Mark V Thomas Says:

    Does this mean if I put 40,000 volts through his “silver hand” he turns invisible…?
    (I could’nt resist making The Steel Claw reference, as it looks far too similar to Mr Cranston’s prosethic for words…)

  16. DoDoGuRu Says:

    @ SI

    I don’t know; Jesus always seems pretty ripped, right?

  17. SI Says:

    DoDoGuru> Fair point. And Samson was certainly the Conan of biblical times.

  18. David Cowie Says:

    Seriously, why do all these guys shave their body hair?

    I remember reading somewhere that it is increasingly common for straight male porn stars to shave their entire bodies.
    The artist here was obviously ahead of the curve.

  19. A.R.Yngve Says:

    I wonder what the cover depicting Dagda will look like…

  20. Tom Noir Says:

    I finally found the third book in this illustrious series, featuring yet another shirtless model with shaven body hair. Hopefully the admin will post it soon!

  21. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “YEOOOWW!!”
    “You’ll only have yourself to blame, for playing with the pot of molten lead!”

  22. JuanPaul Says:

    @DCowie read it somewhere, uh huh. 🙂

  23. Bibliomancer Says:

    @Tom Noir #20 – And it came to pass that all three tomes of The Song of Albion were enshrined on Good Show Sir.

    … wait, how can we be sure there aren’t any more of these damned things?

  24. fred Says:

    I prefer this mythology filtered through Michael Moorcock. Better covers.
    https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/e4/ca/c4/e4cac41a61e07730834159809337d558–comic-covers-book-covers.jpg

  25. Francis Boyle Says:

    I know a chrome plated dildo when I see one.

  26. JuanPaul Says:

    This cover is actually depicting the body-hair waxing process. Ouch.

  27. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    This is why I’ve never been adventurous enough to try the Turkish bath.

  28. GSS ex-noob Says:

    That’s so gay, even John Barrowman is saying “Trying too hard, honey.”

    I personally like a man with a bit o’ chest hair, as long as it doesn’t climb above his collar or (shudder, gag) spread to his back.

    Is Mr. God Mullet here dipped in a bath of Nair to get that smooth all over look, and does that explain why the tasteful splash is so small?

  29. Francis Boyle Says:

    @GSS ex-noob

    Just John Barrowman? My specially convened panel of Oscar Wilde, Quentin Crisp, and Julian Clary thinks its probably a bit too gay. Also Stephen Fry complained about the implied connection between fisting and gay sex.

  30. DaveM Says:

    “By the power of Numbskull, I am Super Proctologist!”

  31. Tat Wood Says:

    Lord Mullet realised at last that his destiny would be fulfilled: he and he alone would sacrifice his left forearm to forge the hilt for the Last Elven Mind Sword and be the one true half-decent thing in ‘Hawk the Slayer’.

  32. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @Tat: is there anything you don’t know enough about to reference on this board? 🙂

  33. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Francis: Even from the Great Beyond, people can see how overly gay this is?

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