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Aug 10

So I like, football, drinking with friends, working out... and killing...Click for full image

As a women I know that there are two main things we love about men. Long hair with hunky muscles being one of them, *drool*, and the ability to fire a light weight fast action submachine gun at any given point. What’s that you say – this book’s in the Fantasy genre? Oh yeah, forgot that element… uhhh ok then, lens flare the gun and put some transparent eyes in the sky. Now that’s what I call Fantasy Romance!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.13 out of 10)
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11 Responses to “In da Flesh”

  1. csa Says:

    … long hair :'(
    … hunky muscles :'(
    … ability to fire a smg at any given point :'(

    dammit, can’t they ever write a fantasy romance about a bald, lazy, nerdy accountant? i’d SO model for that cover

  2. admin Says:

    Aww don’t be so hard on yourself.

    Maybe we should email Livia Dare and ask her to write/draw a more realistic book for her next endeavor.

    Would you pose in a cape holding a huge D20 in your arms?

  3. csa Says:

    hmmm…. it would have to be an awesomely enormous D20.

    I could pose like Atlas holding a huge D20 on my back instead on the Earth…

    … were you looking to have that as the avatar of the site?

  4. SI Says:

    Hahah,

    Brilliant idea. Wonder how we’d make a huge d20? Cut out cardboard and painted?

  5. Tom Noir Says:

    Is that Mark Wahlberg on the cover? Looks like he’s put on his parachute pants and gone in search of the Funky Bunch.

  6. Tom Noir Says:

    Cutting edge new eyebrow-waxing technology requires a tiny man with a laser gun!

  7. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    You forgot tribal tattoo. Hunk + tribal tattoo (usually on deltoid/trapezius) = urban fantasy. I think it’s the male equivalent of the ‘boobs-n-butt’ pose, but less contorted.

    ‘Can you describe the man who shot your right eye?’

    ‘A bit over 700 m tall, wearing what looked like a repurposed zeppelin as cargo pants. Or maybe a man-skirt, I couldn’t be sure.’

  8. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Does Mark Wahlberg fire his Laser Uzi straight up in the air because…

    A) It’s just stupid sexual symbolism (nudge, wink)
    B) To signal his position to a rescue ship
    C) To impress women with his uncontrollable urge to fire at random
    D) He doesn’t know squat about weapons

  9. Ray P Says:

    It was his ex-wife staring out of the sky at Phil all along.

  10. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “Chapter 1: A Conundrum

    Rock Hardfist wondered why dead birds were suddenly falling down around him. Then he recalled that he had been firing up at the air ten seconds earlier. I’ve got to stop doing this, he told himself…”

  11. anon Says:

    “Fast shill of lewd ovarian joy” — Slacky Habla
    SHEEN FILTH
    Vile Daria

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