May 18
Click for full imageScott B Comments: Only the most evil of wizards would tease his familiar by tying its food to its face, juuuust out of reach.
Published 1977
(Average: 8.18 out of 10)
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Scott B Comments: Only the most evil of wizards would tease his familiar by tying its food to its face, juuuust out of reach.
Published 1977
(Average: 8.18 out of 10)Loading...
(9.25 out of 10) (9.18 out of 10) (9.01 out of 10) (8.97 out of 10) (8.92 out of 10) (8.92 out of 10) (8.92 out of 10) (8.91 out of 10) (8.89 out of 10) (8.88 out of 10)
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May 18th, 2012 at 9:54 am
“The clue’s in the name, lady, this is the Evil Health Spa! Besides, this is very good for the back.”
May 18th, 2012 at 10:27 am
The blurb spoils the plot by telling us that he’s not even a real wizard. Oh well, saves me the bother of reading the book.
Liking her curly toes, wondering how those bits of metal are staying attached to her nether regions and boobs, wondering how she got there in the first place without the lizard swallowing her whole.
Where is the planet Wizard, anyway? Is it near the planet Mars?
May 18th, 2012 at 10:38 am
“Trying to perform a miracle.” By the frustrated look on the face of that dragon, he’s Doing It Wrong.
May 18th, 2012 at 11:04 am
Notice how she lies on her back, eyes closed and mouth open wide. She’s obviously snoring. That’s why the dragon looks so irritated. She probably woke up the evil angry guy in black as well.
May 18th, 2012 at 11:11 am
This for whatever reasons, which maybe obvious, seems to remind me of this:
http://i609.photobucket.com/albums/tt176/wickhed/dog-meets-cupcakes.gif
May 18th, 2012 at 12:45 pm
I think we’re all erring in assuming the boring berobed fellow is the wizard here. That’s not how I interpret the situation at all. The young lady is the wizard. Robey back there is her flying exam assessor. I don’t think she’ll get her licence this time – she clearly fastened her safety belts incorrectly, and they’ve slipped. Even flashing that much skin probably won’t get thist one overlooked.
May 18th, 2012 at 12:49 pm
Also, her hair is tickling the dragon’s nostril. The dragon is probably five seconds away from an epic sneeze. One can only imagine the hilarity…
May 18th, 2012 at 3:02 pm
@Herm: look in the lower right hand corner. I hope that green scum is just dragon snots…
May 18th, 2012 at 3:05 pm
I assume that’s the dragon’s first or second maxillary tooth sticking up all fang-ish from the lower jaw. Crocodiles do that too, but their upper lips are bent out of the way. Draco the Allergic there is bound to chafe a bit.
May 18th, 2012 at 5:14 pm
Right, click the link, reviews, you heard me.
May 18th, 2012 at 5:15 pm
People never get it right! When heads are upside-down the mouth does not hang open; it naturally shuts. However, when heads are upright and dead or unconscious or whatever, the mouth naturally hangs open.
Therefore, unconscious or dead people upside-down should have closed mouths.
Upright heads, or severed heads held up by the hair, should have open mouths.
I do wish people would get it right.
May 18th, 2012 at 6:16 pm
On the other hand, I’m pretty sure her outfit wouldn’t stay on if she were right side up, so you have to give them SOME points for realism.
May 18th, 2012 at 7:22 pm
To borrow a quote from The Princess Bride – “You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles.”
May 18th, 2012 at 11:54 pm
“Hey man, be honest, have I got something on my face?”
May 19th, 2012 at 3:49 am
I believe her mouth is open and her eyes closed to show that she is getting off on this. Because it’s terrible, and degrading, and is probably going to end up in her very unpleasant death — but gosh-darnit, the ladies secretly love such things!
As for what’s keeping her tinsel on, I would guess that the armorers clothing-designers of Generic Fantasy Worlds purchase fashion-model adhesives in bulk.
May 20th, 2012 at 6:25 am
I’m sure the next scene is her poking the lizard/gator/dragon in the eye. That would be easy.
May 20th, 2012 at 7:15 pm
I wonder how she got trussed up there without getting a scratch on her. That lizardskin has got to be chafing her back.
I am also disturbed by her complete lack of anatomy. She hasn’t got a ribcage, just a sort of shelf. There isn’t a crease on her, or a muscle. And if you turn the image so her face is rightside up, you can see she has a disconcertingly big neck and small head with a ridiculously upturned tiny nose and disturbingly wide-spaced eyes.
She’s so very, very, very smooth, and her hair is so very, very, very lovingly brushed down over that poor lizard’s nose, it’s creepy.
May 20th, 2012 at 11:42 pm
Magus Blacklaw – a false wizard trying to perform a miracle: To make the 40-year-old man who buys a book with this cover move out of his mother’s basement and lose his virginity.
May 21st, 2012 at 5:32 am
AK – And yet the lizard-thing she’s strapped to is freakin’ detailed as hell. The visual contrast is rather distressing; every time I look at it, there’s this feeling that something is seriously wrong with the cover — I mean, aside from every single thing else.
I went and looked up the book, to see if there was actually some sort of non-S&M reason given in the story for the fake wizard to be strapping nearly-naked women to giant iguana/dragon–faces. There’s not a lot out of info, but someone mentioned there being large, scaly, lizard-type creatures that people ride, that later turn out to be all that’s left of a human population that survived a nuclear war. Assuming that’s really in the book, I can’t say it makes the cover make any more sense, or be any less effed up.
September 26th, 2015 at 10:10 am
Oh come on, people! This is obviously a magic show. One of them artsy ones.
September 26th, 2015 at 1:43 pm
It makes sense if the dragonriders have adopted the habits of refuse collection vans and strapped an inflatable woman to the snout of their vehicle the way teddy beard get mounted on the grilles of Dennis trucks.
June 25th, 2016 at 6:19 pm
Wizaaaaaaaard and lizaaaaaaaard. I can hardly wait for the video game adaptation by Blizaaaaaaaard.
October 7th, 2016 at 3:41 pm
Got a new tag – ‘Covers on which if you change one letter in the title everything suddenly makes some kind of sense.’
October 7th, 2016 at 4:21 pm
@fredâthanks! The Planer Wizard is the story of a young necromancer who dreams of being a carpenter. Here we see him learning how to smooth out a dragon’s snout.
October 7th, 2016 at 4:58 pm
“Draggin’ my ass” she said.
October 7th, 2016 at 7:57 pm
The Pranet Wizard: a complete tool, no matter about his magic powers.
October 8th, 2016 at 2:10 pm
If I met a Planet Wizard, I’d want to know how much it would cost for a magic spell to make the effects of global warming vanish from Earth. đ
March 8th, 2017 at 2:38 am
Strike a light, that’s Reptilicus the Boring Kaiju!
March 8th, 2017 at 4:45 am
@DeadSWBTâmost GSS 10 minute film I’ve ever seen!
“Look. Fourteen of my best cows.”
March 9th, 2017 at 11:23 am
@fred – the Plane Wizard is introducing a new form of travel (I’m assuming it’s a dragon)