Jul 30
Click for full imageTom Noir Comments: This is a good cover. Just try not to think about the fact that when she stands up she’s not wearing anything past her navel. Or about what’s going on with her breastplate. Or how her stubby arm can support a shield that big. Or about the fact that she appears to have just passed gas/the ghost of her mother-in-law.
Published 2001
(Average: 7.78 out of 10)
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July 30th, 2014 at 11:22 am
The lady (and her ghost friend) are both having a serious bad hair day. No wonder they are so pissed.
The gladiator in the back is giving the “Fongool!” salute.
… oh, and … BEHIND YOU!
July 30th, 2014 at 11:51 am
I HAVE THE POWER…to launch Paddy Burke’s daemonic sister from where my parietal lobes should be!
July 30th, 2014 at 1:46 pm
I refer m’learned friends to THX’s comment yesterday http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/2014/07/the-escape-orbit/ – the spook-woman’s doing Tommy Cooper. It was one of those impressions everyone thought they could do, like Jimmy Cagney or Mick Jagger, so generations of embarrassing uncles and duff comedians tried doing that gesture and slurring ‘Juss like that’
(Here’s the original: you’ll either adore it or stare blankly at the screen. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jw7OFxHDBX8 However, he usually wore a bow-tie so at least one aspect of recent ‘Doctor Who’ will now almost make sense.)
July 30th, 2014 at 2:21 pm
I love you book cover Spartacus.
July 30th, 2014 at 6:27 pm
Dracula’s Brood Now with more arms and less eyes than ever before!
July 30th, 2014 at 7:45 pm
Hey, Russell Crowe’s been working out… some issues.
July 30th, 2014 at 11:17 pm
How nice of the gladiator in the foreground to be handing her that shield.
“Nah – you take it. I’ve got He-Man’s sword and a handful of kelp already.”
July 31st, 2014 at 12:13 am
Strapless panties: every warrior woman’s best friend.
July 31st, 2014 at 1:07 pm
Did two artists collaborate on this? Because Phantom Lady is considerably better done. Little marionette sword girl is somewhat misshapen. Her head has her looking a touch, oh, mongoloid?
Ooh. I can hear Phantom Lady singing (with Mark Mothersbaugh’s voice)
“Mongoloid, she is a mongoloid
Because that’s what I made her to be,
Mongoloid, she is a mongoloid,
and I’m gonna make her fight for me.. “
July 31st, 2014 at 5:12 pm
How Stella Got Her Groove Back Behind Her and Huffing Paint.
July 31st, 2014 at 10:49 pm
(Because this just had to be done…)
Look out for other exiting books in this series:
The hurricane of Heaven
The strong gale of Heaven
The monsoon of Heaven
The sudden downpour of Heaven
The partly cloudy skies of Heaven
The light drizzle of Heaven
August 1st, 2014 at 10:55 pm
Gold is such a soft metal. I would’ve let Druggy the Ghost go first.
*tail-spinner, judging by the cover.
Hey, is that guy in the background sneezing while trying to kiss one of his “guns”?
August 6th, 2014 at 3:01 am
Add to the list of things not to think about: That her head is shaped so that she doesn’t have room for more than half a brain in her skull.
August 12th, 2014 at 7:47 am
The bald gladiator in the background suddenly realizes that… HE FORGOT TO PUT ON DEODORANT! And the crowd boos…
August 13th, 2014 at 5:09 pm
Note to Fantasy publishers:
A heroic female character is only as “empowering” as her clothing will allow. It’s hard to be heroic if your costume HARDLY LETS YOU MOVE AN INCH.
June 29th, 2015 at 11:05 pm
Dayum, that there lady has one flat head.
February 14th, 2016 at 11:49 am
It’s bothered me that her arm appears to have been stuffed shoulder-deep into a python. I wonder if the art design was for ‘Lorica squamata’ that the illustrator made squamous, and then confused a breastplate with the galerus?
February 16th, 2016 at 8:41 am
Figure in background: “Man, I am soooo stoned right now…”
March 5th, 2016 at 3:45 pm
I don’t think I’d mind this cover so much, except that it’s obvious Ms. Just-In-From-the-Storm-of-Heaven (look at her drenched hair – she had to have just come out of the rain) has no elbow in her sword arm….
March 6th, 2016 at 12:46 pm
SHAVEN MOTHER OF E.T.
Harash Almont
“Harash Almont raves about button theories, undermines all patios.” Culos
May 12th, 2022 at 7:20 pm
The androgynous God of Tings is about to get to work.
May 13th, 2022 at 12:25 am
So I see the artist could only afford one color of paint, plus a little black and white for varying the shade.
And as @B’man said lo these many years ago: BEHIND YOU! About the better-drawn ghost woman, not the random blobby gladiator types.
May 13th, 2022 at 2:05 am
Tom Noir: “the ghost of her mother-in-law”
Or maybe just her mother
WHEN AM I GOING TO SEE GRAAANDCHILDREN
“MOM, I’m in the middle of a gladiatorial contest! Stop spooking the other gladiators.”
YOU NEEEEEVER WRITE
May 13th, 2022 at 2:16 am
“Really, you show up to paint us when we are ALL having bad hair days?”
May 13th, 2022 at 6:51 am
And this, finally, is why Boudicca lost to the Romans; she could never grasp the distinction between function and fashion when it came to armor.
May 13th, 2022 at 3:33 pm
Gladiators are just like us, that is if we happen to live in a heavily-armed nudist colony.
May 13th, 2022 at 10:54 pm
@Bruce:
“MOM! Trying not to get stabbed here!”
FIIIIINE, I’LL ZAAAAP THE OTHER GUY SO YOOOU CAN GO ON A DAAAATE.