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Jun 23

Stop dancing around and help me hide this body!Click for full image

Andy Comments: The art department obviously wanted to cram as much as possible in (even though this is apparently the second novel in a trilogy). I wouldn’t be surprised however if it was an image ripped from the text. I really like the bloke standing on the ear of dragon – it seems to go well with the tag line. The spaceship is supposed to be vivid purple (the first line of the book) but is obviously out-done in the purple stakes by the dragon.
Published 1995

Ah the days of… yellow jeans…
Many thanks to Andy!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.34 out of 10)
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Jun 21

Lets not fight, in fact here. Have my wife.Click for full image

Rose Comments: Let’s see what you have here. We asked for a road…yes, well done. And some people in elf suits. And a really big, really stupid–oh…wow…
Published 1979

Another Heinlein, what fun!
Many thanks to Rose!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.40 out of 10)
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Jun 18

God I need to sit down, I've been carrying my boobs around all day.Click for full image

Liz’s Art Direction: Draw some buxom witch types in tight revealing outfits having a tea party. Throw in a weird muscle bound werewolf creature for good measure and have them all sit / stand around drinking tea out of some china cups. That should do it. Everyone reads these for the stories anyway.
Published 2009

Thanks to Liz and Simon who both sent this in!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.02 out of 10)
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Jun 10

Susan! Stop posing dramatically and help me catch our dinner!Click for full image

Art Direction: We all know from popular science fiction when one is stranded on a planet we loose clothing. It always ends up with a women in a mere bikini watching a man in a spear fight with some sort of daemon creature. Always! So draw it kinda like Robinson Crusoe… except with more breasts. And aliens.
Published 1983

Thanks to the Legend Dave R!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.00 out of 10)
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Jun 09

Worst date ever... and you call those flowers?!Click for full image

Richard Comments: I recently bought some books from the wonderful (and charming) Gwyneth Jones. Gwyneth’s site you should have a look; she gives the money less p&p to Amnesty and her books are tremendous. She signed the book with the message requested, but had also written notes about the cover art. In this one, “This delicious cover is my own fault, I talked to the artist. Never do that!” Not entirely sure what’s going on, though – it seems that Ben Affleck has really pissed off that woman.
Published 1997

First floating heads, now full bodies!
Many thanks to Richard!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.95 out of 10)
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Jun 02

Like the great aurora borealis, the eternity brigade neon sign sweeps the sky.Click for full image

Lauren Comments: The colors on this are just so awful. And spike heels? But at least she’s not in a fur bikini. Although he appears to be having some wardrobe malfunction with his shirt.

At least he doesn’t have a mullet!
Thanks to Lauren!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.37 out of 10)
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Jun 01

His head is always in the clouds.Click for full image

Phil’s Art Direction: We don’t want people thinking he’s odd just because he’s tall and thin, so let’s have someone else tall and thin in the background. Then give him really odd hair.

Many thanks to Phil!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 9.10 out of 10)
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May 28

Ah May! How I love you with two bank holidays in one month and the final one falling on, my birthday. That’s right exciting stuff! So here to celebrate is a strange random collection of honourable mentions. And they are a random collection I assure you.

These covers break our well kept and hard hitting rules. There are some who even complain they are almost too hard. But these covers are generally excluded because they are part of a franchise or comedy.

Again thanks to everyone who visits the site and those who are submitting covers. Some of them are simply amazing, we’ll get to them eventually. Enjoy these great covers and to those who gain from it, have an amazing extended weekend!

As a bonus check out a vague picture of CSA (known in certain circles as ‘The Troll’)
Trolling through books to help me find covers at Christmas

Everything is in proportion. EVERYTHING!Click for full image

Dealing with the hard topic of zombies before the craze of 2009.Click for full image

Does that princess have the hots for that dragon? ewww.Click for full image

Shatner is comedy, right?Click for full image

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.90 out of 10)
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May 24

Out for his morning stroll, John waves to some passers by.Click for full image

Hex Comments: There’s really not much I can say about this one, except that _someone_ in the design process for this book was taking the piss.

Thanks to Hex!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.93 out of 10)
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May 21

SENTAUR KAT IZ WATCHIN U MASTURBATE.Click for full image

Jessie Comments: This cover is so atrocious that every time I go to read it, I just can’t. It’s definitely among the top three worst covers I’ve ever seen.
Published 1995

That is epic. Simply epic! Thanks to Jessie!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.93 out of 10)
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