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Nov 14

Examen de Passage

28 Comments »

It's a good thing I still have my leather underwear, otherwise this could be embarrassing.Click for full SHOCKING image

Art Direction: How long are legs supposed to be? I’d say keep them on the long side of things. Don’t be afraid to get boob in their too. Just one boob though, two I believe would be considered excessive next to a half naked hunky man with only a bit of leather and cloth to cover his modesty.
Published 1982

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.10 out of 10)
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Nov 10

A Wizard of Earthsea

28 Comments »

Everyone else is wearing leggings here! Why can't hawks do it? eh!?Click for full image

Tam W’s Art Direction: This is a great work of fantasy, so naturally we want it to look as retro, cliched and formulaic as possible. I’m talking men in tights! If you do decide to depict a wizard turning into a bird, don’t forget to catch him in the act. And make it man-sized, never mind what the novel says!
Published 1975

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.74 out of 10)
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Nov 09

Dilation Effect

16 Comments »

7! No wait... 4!!Click for full image

Scott B’s Art DIrection: This cover should have an infinitude of nude plastic women with RAF eyes. Because I said so.
Published 1971

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.99 out of 10)
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Nov 07

Dark Paradise

27 Comments »

MAN KAT DRESEZ FABULOUSLY!Click for full image

MisterBOB’s Art Direction: One Word – Cat People… ok… so two words!But one cat alien wearing the latest outer space fashions!
Published 1990

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.29 out of 10)
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Nov 04

Doomsday Book

15 Comments »

Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. Im on a horse.Click for full image

Man of the Mountian’s Art Direction:So, the story is about a girl trapped in the middle of the black death in midevial England, while everyone back in her time are dying of a flu epidemic. Give us a nice upbeat cover, otherwise nobody is going to buy this!
Published 1993

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.79 out of 10)
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Nov 03

This Immortal

20 Comments »

...read too many comics?Click for full image

Muttley Comments: … doesn’t need to eat… ?
Published 1985

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.68 out of 10)
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Nov 01

Consider Her Ways and Others

35 Comments »

Gwad.. that cyborg looks so bad. Put some lipstick on it.Click for full image

John A H Comments: The future belongs to the designer egg timer people.
Published 1979

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.62 out of 10)
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Oct 31

Floating Worlds

25 Comments »

You dirty minded freaks! She's clearly not my type. I'm more of a brunette alien floating whale.Click for full SHAMEFUL image

TomM Comments: The horror. The horror!
Published 1978

Our eyes and minds today protected by Hummingbird Whale!
As requested by our wonderful Facebook followers!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.53 out of 10)
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Oct 28

The Golden Horn

29 Comments »

*German accent* I'm here to cast a spell of heal light wounds... *bass guitar*Click for full image

Tom Noir’s Art Direction:
“Are you sure you’re a licensed massage therapist?”

“Of course dear, now just relax and let me work. Your thighs look very… tense.”
Published 1986

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.47 out of 10)
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Oct 27

Elric at the End of Time

28 Comments »

No boarder can hold me!Click for full image

Matthew’s Art Direction: So we’ll be requiring evil insect eyes and a bloomin’ great sword, oh yeah and an absurdly oversized helmet too…
Published 1987

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.68 out of 10)
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