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Nov 04

Star Well

30 Comments »

Don't look now John, it's a Jehovah's Witness!Click for full image

GK Comments: Someone is out of place…
Published 1968

Many thanks to GK!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.78 out of 10)
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Nov 03

A Cure for Cancer

28 Comments »

One has to keep his tentacles warm with stockings!Click for full UNCENSORED image

Terry’s Art Direction: The first thing that comes to mind when thinking about a cure for cancer is – naked chicks! I want you to put in 4 naked women and have their heads blowing up and an Albino man’s corpse emerging from them. Think you can do that? I know it’s a stretch, but . . .
Published 1976

I give this one Michael Crawford!
Many thanks to Terry!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.86 out of 10)
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Nov 02

The Farthest Shore

12 Comments »

We're about to be drowned in milk!!!!!!Click for full image

Tom Noir’s Art Direction: That’s a really nice painting you did for the Le Guin cover, but you know what would really sell it? Incorporating this photograph of my nephew and I at the Ren Faire. Don’t be silly, my mod seventies mullet-ponytail combo looks COMPLETELY medieval.
Published 1981 (maybe)

Many thanks to Tom!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 4.21 out of 10)
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Nov 01

Well of Shiuan

37 Comments »

Cover yourself up man! Your tackle is scaring me horse!Click for full image

Jeweleya Comments: This cover is so off-putting to me that I can’t bring myself to read the book. A few highlights –

  • The sword dissolving into blue dust
  • The barbarian’s barely-decent rags (it’s refreshing that the woman is wearing more than the man, for once)
  • The utterly generic, swirly, rainbow-threw-up-on-it background
  • And my personal favorite: the horse that looks like it’s just been flung backwards from a giant slingshot

…Indeed, a cover for the ages.
Published 1978

Many thanks to Jeweleya!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.13 out of 10)
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Oct 29

Scary Halloween Covers

13 Comments »

“You have to have a sense of humor, darling, to be alive. Even a bit mad. It helps to be mad.”
Peter Cushing

Welcome readers to a world of fear, pain, man-tigers, wizards, mind bending horror and damsels in distress. Here we have a collection of the scariest covers sent in by our followers, or should I call them… minions! mu HA HA HA HAAAAA!

Anyway, I hope people have a good Halloween weekend and if you are dressing up or at least watching the fabulous 1958 Hammer Horror version of Dracula, I hope you all have a great time.

I see Nicholas Cage is still 'acting'.Click for full image

Libraryman’s Art Direction: Ok, now this is a scary book right? Well, what’s better than skulls? Am I right? I want a big one though, yeah I don’t care that real skulls don’t look that big, what am I an anatomist?? Oh and a crab claw. Gotta have a crab claw.
Published 1987

Not known to many - Toads, a zombies best friend!Click for full image

Neil’s Art Direction: A flooded city burns in the background, they’ll be a rotting head in the water. Nah, thats not enough, lets add something else. A toad maybe.
Published 1993

Horns? No, our race call them crotch gougers. No idea why....MU HAHAHAHAHAHAA!

Graham’s Art Direction: This is a collection of horror stories by a world-famous author, so I really want you to go to town on the cover art. Try and capture the gothic-horror aspect: make the reader feel that these stories could be taking place right now in his own neighborhood. [looks at this quarter’s finances] Ah, never mind, we’ll just send them something from one of those sci-fi books that got canceled.
Published 1976

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.80 out of 10)
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Oct 28

Stonehenge

29 Comments »

I think that the problem *may* have been, that there was a Stonehenge monument on the stage that was in danger of being *crushed* by a dwarf!Click for full image

Don Comments: “Helmets with bunny ears will overpower helmets with horns every time. So sayeth Ason the Incredibly Bored!”
Published 1973

Many thanks to Don!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.78 out of 10)
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Oct 27

Witch World

30 Comments »

This is my hair dryer and you can't have it!Click for full image

Danielle Comments: The title phrase says – One man against a wonder planet. Yeah. I wonder why these guys are dressed like some weird bird-fetish group. I wonder why one is holding a ray gun, while the rest have swords. I wonder why they have to have a bird emblazoned on their chest. I guess it’s in case someone misses the fact that they’re full grown men dressed as giant birds
Published 1963

Many thanks to Danielle!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.50 out of 10)
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Oct 26

The Lathe of Heaven

16 Comments »

Why do you think I'm grumpy! All this thing does is pick up that gorillas ear wax!Click for full image

Radiano Comments: The Lathe of Heaven – the touching story of a man in toga cranially wired with King Kong.
Published 1983

Many thanks to Radiano!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.46 out of 10)
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Oct 25

Slow Train to Arcturus

30 Comments »

No, no - I said kick left and twirl right! Ok: from the top!Click for full image

Corwin Comments: In the future, designer space suits are in style, asynchronous space ballet is an Olympic sport, and we’ve all lost our pinkies.
Published 2008

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.12 out of 10)
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Oct 22

The Revenants

16 Comments »

No! Take my wallet.. anything! Anything but my horn!Click for full image

Art Direction: The London underground, Pink Floyd concerts and the queue for Return of the Jedi. Do you know what they all have in common? They’re all… busy!! We don’t just need a strange bird attacking a unicorn, we need a full on boarder! With as much busyness as possible. I’m sure that’s sound logic… well pretty sure.
Published 1983

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.71 out of 10)
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