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Jul 20

The Baker’s Boy

22 Comments »

Luckily for you... I brought the brightest candle in the world!No larger image available

Alessandra’s Art Direction: I want a couple of giant kids, way too big for the architecture they’re in. I want the architecture to be real crazy, too, to make no sense in terms of scale or perspective or anything. Make the kids skinny, but make their heads real big and make sure the girl has lots of eye makeup and styling mousse. Dress ’em in brightly-colored vaguely medievalish clothes like you see on Robin Hood on TV, or at Medieval Times or something.
Published 1995

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.00 out of 10)
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Jul 19

Lethe

18 Comments »

Does this sci-fi water healing tube make my ass look fat?Click for full image

Frank Comments: I just thought it was cute because it was another Campbell Award nomination and the artist put a nude girl on the cover, even if it was tasteful back-side nudity.
Published 1995

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 3.07 out of 10)
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Jul 18

Channel’s Destiny

16 Comments »

And.... Jazz hands!!Click for full image

Winged Wolf Comments: An excellent series, and one of my favourites. This scene actually appears in the book, and is depicted fairly accurately. Except for the tentacles. They never get the tentacles right.
Published 1983

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.06 out of 10)
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Jul 17

Babel-17

18 Comments »

Space hover boards are so... phallic!Click for full image

Courtney’s Art Direction: Think Conan, but switch the genders. And make the hero basically Farrah Fawcett. And make her leg clinger, I dunno, a Pak Protector maybe? No of course I don’t know anything about the plot.
Published 1978

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.45 out of 10)
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Jul 16

Black Maria

17 Comments »

All power to the magic dishwasher tab!!Click for full image

MisterBob Comments: Floating jewels, wise animals, introspective young teenagers…. need I say more?
Published 1992

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 4.58 out of 10)
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Jul 12

The Web 2027

16 Comments »

2027!!! And still full of cats!Click for full image

Wes’ Art Direction:

Editor – “Look I’ve gotta hang up. The cover just needs to have the authors’ names, then ‘The Web’ in a subtle font and 2027 undern-”
Graphic Designer – “What? Sorry, your signal’s breaking up again I can’t..”
Editor – “I said put THE! WEB!! and TWENTY-TWENTY-SEVEN on it!!!… ah crap i dropped my cigar, now my chair’s ON FIRE!!”

Published 1999

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.36 out of 10)
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Jul 11

Taurus Four

22 Comments »

Thankfully we can't see where the oxygen tank is strapped to.Click for full image

Good Show Sir’s Art Direction: You, my friend, are an artist! And a good one at that, so I will not make you draw just any old crap. Give me something like… The Birth of Venus… but instead of her covering herself up… have a naked guy in a bondage space suit holding an alien flower.
Published 1970

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.25 out of 10)
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Jul 10

Space-Borne

30 Comments »

Space has never been so fabulous!Click for full image

Joachim Comments: Although borne in space, Ken still liked to go into towne centre and strut his special pants in front of the shoppes…
Published 1959

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.53 out of 10)
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Jul 09

The Tall Stones

21 Comments »

Awwww... mine isn't bigger....Click for full image

Colette’s Art Direction: Oh crap, this is due tomorrow? Whats the name of it? Hmm cant we just use that rejected cover we submitted a couple of months ago for The Mystery at Penis Rock?
Published 1979

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.60 out of 10)
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Jul 06

Asylum Earth

11 Comments »

Impress the ladies this weekend, sacrifice them a chickenClick for full image

Saxy Stevenson’s Art Direction: It’s the end of the world, everyone is going mental, imagine the worst case scenario… Someone cutting the head off a pigeon with loads floating space eyes looking worried… can you imagine the horror, can you?
Published 1968 (maybe)

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.03 out of 10)
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