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Jan 08

Black Knight of the Iron Sphere

19 Comments »

A rope-skipping duel to the deathClick for larger image

Ump’s Art Direction: We’re through with goofy covers: this time we want something simple and classic. So we want a blond guy who’s wearing no pants to jump through the air with a sword trying to stick it in a space gorilla. Yeah – a blue space gorilla that has a giant space gorilla head growing out of its back. And we want a gal in a stripper outfit in the background and she’s turned like she’s pretending to look way because she’s embarrassed, but if you look at her eyes peeking back because she’s really into it. Like I said: simple and classic.

Published 1979

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.31 out of 10)
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Feb 14

A Sword Above the Night

17 Comments »

The jazz hands of deathClick for larger image

Good Show Sir Comments: “Nyah-Nyah-Nyah, I can’t hear you!”

Thanks Suzie-Q for sending this in!

Published 1971

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.31 out of 10)
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Sep 18

Arrows of Eros

15 Comments »

Man! Why is space so 1980's?Click for full image

Think of your target audience, 15 year old boys and 39 year old single males still living with their parents. So that would be, a women with an unimaginable rack walks in space across….liquid alien gooey stuff….and then just throw in a red computer grid and some flying male/female symbols. Sorted! We’ve pretty much got a winner!

Thanks to Mairi! 🙂

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.30 out of 10)
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Jun 05

Exiles’ Return

45 Comments »

Neo-Jesus here! Which one of you stiffs is Lazarus?Click for larger image

Leah Comments: Another beaut from my personal collection. Fairly good book, but the protagonists (human woman and psychic alien cat) don’t look like that. First, I’ve never seen a living, healthy adult human being with such a tiny head. Second, they’re both pregnant in this volume of the series. No sign of that here. Also, the text never says anything about the cat having a double chin.

Published 1995

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.30 out of 10)
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Apr 02

The Best of Leigh Brackett

28 Comments »

Is that a prehistoric unicorn!?!Click for full image

Bibliomancer’s Art Direction: You spilled your whiskey all over the cover art! No time to redo it. Just sponge it off and get it out the door. It has to be at the printer’s today.
Published 1977

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.30 out of 10)
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Nov 15

The Space Merchants

30 Comments »

You should see his thumb submarine!Click for full image

Good Show Sir Comments: Giving someone the middle finger… in style!
Published 1973

Many thanks to Darren!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.30 out of 10)
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Jan 14

Down in the Bottomlands and Other Places

16 Comments »

Mulan RogueClick for larger image

FluffyGhostKitten Comments: There’s using a sledgehammer to crack a nut, and then there’s this.

Published 1999

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.30 out of 10)
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Sep 28

Cosmic Engineers

27 Comments »

Engineers... great at engineering... terrible at designing!Click for full image

Billy Awesome Comments: Mescaline binge meets community college art exhibit.
Published 1970

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.30 out of 10)
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Jul 17

The Dark Bright Water

15 Comments »

Look out Eric! She's after our cave exploring shorts!Click for full image

Dead Stuff with Big Teeth’s Art Direction: On our cover, we won’t show ANYTHING. But legs. Lots of legs. We got a volume discount on legs.
Published 1981

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.30 out of 10)
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Jul 27

Berserker’s Planet

9 Comments »

The Chia Pet TunicClick for larger image

Good Show Sir Comments: The apostrophe is on the spine. Not on the cover. Quality copy editing.

Thanks to Ryan for sending this in!

Published 1975

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.30 out of 10)
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