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Mar 07

Groundhog says fuck this, ten more years of winterClick for larger image

Tat Wood Comments: It’s exactly like a Breughel. If he’d done the poster for a straight-to-video sequel to ‘Dark Crystal’ about a Yeti, sorceress and a woodchuck.

Published 1981

You might remember this from here.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 4.26 out of 10)
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Nov 01

Dali PatronClick for larger image

Ridley Comments: WTF-a-palooza!

Published 1974

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.56 out of 10)
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Jan 15

No. I am the Lizard King!

Click for larger image

Tom Luczycki’s Art Direction: I need a guy astride a giant walking fish-thing accompanied by a metallic angel with nippless bazooms. Could you have the guy holding an impossibly small and ineffective bow? Forget about the arrows. The bow is more a symbol for the subtext of the underlying metaphor. And moths. The moths should round things out nicely.

Published 1983

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.30 out of 10)
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Dec 07

Good evening, and welcome to a private showing of three paintings, displayed here for the first time. Each is a collectors’ item in its own way – not because of any special artistic quality, but because each captures on a canvas, and suspends in time and space, a frozen moment of …

OK, that’s just a Rod Serling Night Gallery quote I copped off of IMDB. But here, for your consideration, are three cover submissions that didn’t make the cut. Not because they aren’t terrible. Not because they are based on a franchise. Not because they are parody or comedy. Not because … well, just because …

 

Boob Tube?Click for larger image

Raoul Comments: That 70s Show.
Published 1975

 

I've been hitchhiking for an hour. Why can't I get a ride?Click for larger image

Alice Comments: “Let the Magic Journey begin! Oh crap. Wher’d my ass go?”.
Published 1988

 

 

Sheep!Click for larger image

Maureen Comments: Click all you want. No boobs under the sheep.
Published 1972

 

Oh, and Tag Wizard sent me this racism and dared me to post it. Now you owe me a pint:

Chinese GSS is going to have a shit fitClick for larger image

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.85 out of 10)
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Oct 02

'How to Pick up Girls' by Dr. Bill CosbyClick for larger image

Good Show Sir Comments: This must be that Edgar Rice Burroughs novel where the Terminator travels all the way to Barsoom to track down the sexy, half-naked Sarah Connor!

Published 1972

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 4.48 out of 10)
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Sep 21

Check out this groovy van artwork I can do with my airbrush gunClick for larger image

Joe Camel Comments: “Why do I always fall for a guy with nazi boots and a TV antenna on his head?”

Published 1960

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.52 out of 10)
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Jul 03

I'm thinking John Wilkes Booth is behind this one too.Click for full image

Good Show Sir Comments: Gonna have to rewrite this Gettysburg Address to cover The War of the Robot Rebellion.

Published 1990

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.00 out of 10)
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Jun 15

It has been a while since we’ve had an Honourable Mention post, so following are some of the recent doozies that didn’t meet our strict, fiercely-enforced rules for cover submissions. Enjoy!

Doctor PooClick for larger image

Leah Comments: I know it’s a tie-in, but this is definitely worthy of an Honorable Mention. That lettering is not actually black, it is bright orange metallic foil. I think it says a great deal that the picture is an accurate depiction of the featured aliens.

 

 

What's keeping the pyramids from falling off?Click for larger image

Leah Comments: Another Honorable-Mention-worthy tie-in. Working title: ‘Attack of the Fifty-Foot Fop’.

 

I just 'chat' myselfCliquez pour enlever le mouton

Joachim Comments: A French cat woman? There’s so much wrong with this cover.

 

 

A screaming comes across my eyesClick for larger image

Bibliomancer Comments: I don’t think it’s technically science fiction. But Lordy, is this a bad cover.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.96 out of 10)
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May 25

... the world of millions years hence whence thence ...Click for full image

Good Show Sir Comments: Fly, my pretties! Fly!

Published 1970

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.33 out of 10)
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May 03

Itza my new FIAT - Fix it again Tony!Click for full image

Good Show Sir Comments: Steampunk Dottor Chi?

Thanks to Armando for sending this in!

Published 2009

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.41 out of 10)
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