Feb 20
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Diggler’s Art Direction: What we need is a man in a hot tub doing some New Wave Impressionistic dance moves for his girlfriend on the video phone. Meanwhile we’ll have him being squirted by red dye for artistic effect… What do you think?
Published 1982

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Tagged with: damsel • dude • jazz hands • Larry Niven • lens flare • muscles • once you see it • Orbit Books • Peter Jones • space • starkers • Ting! • WTF
Feb 03
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Frank Comments: Spotted in the Russian-language section at our Friends of the Library sale. The only English-language word was “fantasy” on the spine. I’m illiterate in Russian.
Published 1997 (maybe)

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Tagged with: bladed weapons • dragon • dude • font problems • glowing eyes • Haircut 100 • Mikhail Uspenskii • once you see it • Pусское Fantasy Books • sword • Unknown Artist Institute
Jan 31
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Andrew Comments: Teddy bears in Napoleonic garb, riding on dragon-horses in space. Baen, naturally.
Published 2000
It has come to our attention that this book is comedy, which bends our rules.
We appologise, but the cover is still amazing!
– Good Show Sir

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Tagged with: Baen Books • dude • Gordon R. Dickson • horses • Michael Whelan • once you see it • Poul Anderson • space • surprised horse • WTF
Jan 13
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Tom Noir’s Ari Direction: Right, it’s called, “Chess With A Dragon.” Here’s my cover idea: there’s a bloke playing chess… wait for it… with a dragon. Tell me what I’m paying you people for again?!
Published 1988

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Tagged with: Avon Books • bladed weapons • chess • David Gerrold • Doug Beekman • dragon • dude • once you see it • space chess • sword • wraparound cover
Dec 19
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Art Direction: Wave… WAVE!?! Well there you go my boy, we have our answer right there. Let’s put a huge wave on there with a lighthouse and a helicopter to try and show some size perspective. I’m sure it will be all fine. And it’s day time so lens flare the hell out of that lighthouse. They run during the day right?
Published 2010

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Tagged with: font problems • helicopters • lens flare • lighthouse • once you see it • tidal wave • Ting! • Tor Books • Unknown Artist Institute • Wil Mara • WTF
Dec 16
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ash966 Comments: If your artist is unable to create and illusion of 3 dimensions (the nose and the spaceships), should you really emphasize the fact with a 3-D font? The spaceships look like children’s toys and the font looks like something and 8th-grader doodles in her notebook. Also, what is a “ram song”? I don’t think I want to know.
Published 1984

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Tagged with: Argo Books • dude • font problems • Neil Feigeles • once you see it • planets • Sharon Webb • space • space ships
Nov 04
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Man of the Mountian’s Art Direction:So, the story is about a girl trapped in the middle of the black death in midevial England, while everyone back in her time are dying of a flu epidemic. Give us a nice upbeat cover, otherwise nobody is going to buy this!
Published 1993

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Tagged with: bad science • Bantam Books • Connie Willis • damsel • dude • headband • horses • horses with hairstyles • once you see it • Roger Kastel • SCIENCE! • shuriken of approval • Ting!
Oct 04
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Art Direction: Look it will just be like every cover you have ever seen but this time… they’re cat people! They’ll have everything a cat would normally have like fuzzy hair, cat mouths, pointy ears but no tails. Tails, I think would be a step too far! We don’t want people to be too embarrassed when they buy it!
Published 1983

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Tagged with: anthropomorphism • boo • C.J. Cherryh • cat people • cleavage • damsel • J'ai Lu books • muscles • once you see it • planets • Rowena A. Morrill • Rowena Morrill • space • space ships
Sep 27
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Elijah’s Art Direction: Seriously, who are we kidding? Just throw some space-tits on there and call it a day.
Published 1984

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Tagged with: catsuit • cleavage • damsel • devil's dumplings • dress for success • Kevin Johnson • Mike Resnick • once you see it • Phantasia Press • planets • ridiculous hat • space • space chess • space sheep • wings
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