preload
Nov 10

A Wizard of Earthsea

28 Comments »

Everyone else is wearing leggings here! Why can't hawks do it? eh!?Click for full image

Tam W’s Art Direction: This is a great work of fantasy, so naturally we want it to look as retro, cliched and formulaic as possible. I’m talking men in tights! If you do decide to depict a wizard turning into a bird, don’t forget to catch him in the act. And make it man-sized, never mind what the novel says!
Published 1975

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.92 out of 10)
Loading...

Tagged with: • • • • • • • • • •

Nov 09

Dilation Effect

16 Comments »

7! No wait... 4!!Click for full image

Scott B’s Art DIrection: This cover should have an infinitude of nude plastic women with RAF eyes. Because I said so.
Published 1971

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.89 out of 10)
Loading...

Tagged with: • • • • •

Nov 07

Dark Paradise

27 Comments »

MAN KAT DRESEZ FABULOUSLY!Click for full image

MisterBOB’s Art Direction: One Word – Cat People… ok… so two words!But one cat alien wearing the latest outer space fashions!
Published 1990

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.40 out of 10)
Loading...

Tagged with: • • • • • • • •

Nov 04

Doomsday Book

15 Comments »

Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. Im on a horse.Click for full image

Man of the Mountian’s Art Direction:So, the story is about a girl trapped in the middle of the black death in midevial England, while everyone back in her time are dying of a flu epidemic. Give us a nice upbeat cover, otherwise nobody is going to buy this!
Published 1993

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.79 out of 10)
Loading...

Tagged with: • • • • • • • • • • • •

Nov 03

This Immortal

20 Comments »

...read too many comics?Click for full image

Muttley Comments: … doesn’t need to eat… ?
Published 1985

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.68 out of 10)
Loading...

Tagged with: • • • • • • • • •

Nov 01

Consider Her Ways and Others

35 Comments »

Gwad.. that cyborg looks so bad. Put some lipstick on it.Click for full image

John A H Comments: The future belongs to the designer egg timer people.
Published 1979

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.63 out of 10)
Loading...

Tagged with: • • • • •

Oct 31

Floating Worlds

25 Comments »

You dirty minded freaks! She's clearly not my type. I'm more of a brunette alien floating whale.Click for full SHAMEFUL image

TomM Comments: The horror. The horror!
Published 1978

Our eyes and minds today protected by Hummingbird Whale!
As requested by our wonderful Facebook followers!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.62 out of 10)
Loading...

Tagged with: • • • • • • • • •

Oct 28

The Golden Horn

29 Comments »

*German accent* I'm here to cast a spell of heal light wounds... *bass guitar*Click for full image

Tom Noir’s Art Direction:
“Are you sure you’re a licensed massage therapist?”

“Of course dear, now just relax and let me work. Your thighs look very… tense.”
Published 1986

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.68 out of 10)
Loading...

Tagged with: • • • • • •

Oct 27

Elric at the End of Time

28 Comments »

No boarder can hold me!Click for full image

Matthew’s Art Direction: So we’ll be requiring evil insect eyes and a bloomin’ great sword, oh yeah and an absurdly oversized helmet too…
Published 1987

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.68 out of 10)
Loading...

Tagged with: • • • • • • •

Oct 26

Stark’s War

22 Comments »

Can't look at the explosions... can't... I'll look so lame...Click for full image

Art Direction: Lets just get Jim from accounting, he works out right? We’ll put him in my air-soft kit and spice it up a little. People who read books love that type of stuff. It will be just like a TV show, but on a book.
Published 2011

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 4.78 out of 10)
Loading...

Tagged with: • • • • • • •