Good Show Sir

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A scary witch-shard in the middle. Who am I to deny the cover of something the title mentions? Oh, and some dude firing a bow. OH, and some scary bear creeping up in the background. OHHHH – and some hot women with a dagger giving the uncomfortable twisted-body ass-pose. But most importantly: Shiny, keep it shiny.

(Average: 8.15 out of 10)

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Let’s have a man in a male skirt, or, say, a leather armour of sorts, stretching into the sky. We’ll have his companion lancing out with his hand just towards his crotch… Wait! This is Sci Fi? Lucky you told me. Uh, have them fighting aliens but keep the rest the same.

(Average: 7.23 out of 10)

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There are few times in life when I boast of attaining perfection. The fonts, the scary woman who looks a little too desperate for a man, the man frozen as he runs away, the mist, the obligatory quote and lets not forget the glow. I can see it now. We are giving them something so beautiful that people will shed tears of joy.

(Average: 8.74 out of 10)

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In the future pilots won’t just be piloting boring old planes or space ships. No! They’ll be piloting space scooters! Retro space scooters!! Going from space station to station, wearing their retro spacesuits and carrying their cargo of little blue blobs with little tentacles. No? Well, just draw it and hopefully it will come true by 2010.

Thanks to Dave K!

(Average: 8.66 out of 10)

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Here you go boss, we’ve spent all weekend on this. It’s called “sea”, right? Well, what do we love under the sea? Mermaids of course! With long hair and large… fins. And what else could we grab people’s attention with? An underwater dragon!!! Booo yeah!!! Just tell me how that doesn’t make perfect sense!?! No boss, you don’t actually have to answer that…

(Average: 7.13 out of 10)

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What we shouldn’t have is something like ships exploding covering most of the front cover as some four armed goblins fire a cannon. And some blonde women holding her gun as she surveys the scene. Then the title and authors in huge fonts! THEN quotes from reviews just in case we think it’s not busy enough! That’s what we shouldn’t have guys. Right, guys? …Right?

(Average: 8.74 out of 10)

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A hunky swordsman, an old Robin Hood character, and a strange female sorceress. Now, because our trio are wanting to keep themselves undercover, give the hunky one a Zorro mask to cover his eyebrows and nose. No-one will ever know his true identity. No-one!

(Average: 4.33 out of 10)

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Hello there sir, could I stop you for a quick survey today? Excellent. Imagine that we gave you a cover that included terrible fonts, a man with a very chiseled chin in some sort of armour, holding his short bow. Then pump tons of strange glows and lens flare on places you’d not expect. On scale of one to ten, how likely are you going to take this on a bus with you? Sir? Come back! Sir?

(Average: 7.74 out of 10)

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Ok, how about this one. I’m just throwing it in there. Guy with sword, guy with gun, guy possibly naked with an american flag wrapped around him, and a guy in uniform.Now, to make sure no-one could think that this accompaniment could be anything but just good friends, make sure the sword guy has a platonic look as he ogles the blonde one.

(Average: 8.31 out of 10)

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BONUS Hi-Res Image!
Suitable for framing to hang in your man-cave.

Good Show Sir Art Direction: You know what type of reader suffers in the world of sci-fi/fantasy? Men! We need something for the men! So just put a redhead vampire chick with a huge rack right there on the front cover, holding her shotgun. It’s about time that we have something men can enjoy unlike those, dragons, swords, guns, lasers…….space ships…..oh…

(Average: 8.45 out of 10)

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