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Aug 08

Girls always turn out to have complex chemical structures for chests!Click for full image

Joachim Comments: I love most of Richard Powers’ surrealist covers — but, this one… Surrealism exponentially cheapened with a gigantic looming OUTRAGEOUSLY pink girl with strategically placed element models and a pistolled cowboy with a space suit and matching pink gloves and boots… And throw in some little men with spears, a spaceship and scattered cacti for good effect.
Published 1955

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.75 out of 10)
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Aug 05

Playboy Paperbacks - Providing the thoughts of the internet, before the internet!Click for full image

Colette’s Art Direction: I want a sultry naked blonde chick right up front, but she should be part supermodel and part sasquatch. She’ll need tiny webbed talon paws, a foxtail, and wings- or maybe just one big wing! And throw in a little hot genie-on-genie action for good measure.
Published 1982

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.27 out of 10)
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Aug 04

When

SteveAsat Comments: I can overlook an Apple II case with a Commodore PET monitor being used to visually indicate “hey kids, computers!” And the Escheresque architecture suggesting a suburban three-bedroom rendered in granite. But how the hell did that cat get up there and why isn’t he sliding off?!
Published 1980

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.93 out of 10)
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Aug 02

Sci-Fi - sexually awaking teenage boys since the 1960's!Click for full image

Kelly Comments: Considering that later editions have an absolutely gorgeous cover by Michael Whelan, I’m always a bit horrified to see the travesty on my own copy of the book. It looks like a poster for some kind of low-budget 70s bondage. My poor eyes!

Muttley Comments: Did you see a mouse? I’m sure there’s a mouse in here. Gonna blow that mouse away . . .
Published 1981

Thanks to Kelly and Muttley who both sent this in!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.29 out of 10)
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Aug 01

Hanging by a testicle and thread.Click for full image

Mary Comments: Where to even begin…?
Published 1971

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.54 out of 10)
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Jul 29

I learnt this one from Japanese teenagers...Click for full image

Art Direction: You know what I feel enhances any work of art… glow! Imagine the scene, two young lovers entwined in… tentacles… and around them a mystical blue glow to signify magic or possibly the sharing of deep feelings. Nah I’m just kidding, we all know what he’s going to use those things for. But the glow will enchance something I’m sure!
Published 1984

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.86 out of 10)
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Jul 28

Going to the toilet in a space suit always looks awkward.Click for full image

Jen Comments: You know, it’s been a while since I’ve read this, but you’d think I’d remember the part with the giant mecha vs. super soldier race. And boy, is that shiny.
Published 2001

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.62 out of 10)
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Jul 27

..... 0_o .....Click for full image

Scott Comments: A novel of the epic conflict between Man-Tiger and SCUBA-Horse!
Published 1978

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.62 out of 10)
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Jul 26

Join us... at chess club... forever and ever.... and ever!Click for full image

Art Direction: Hey does your son still look like one of those no job free loading poetry reading jazz artists? Great! So does mine and they’ll make the perfect demonic children. We just layer it somehow to give that… demony feel.
Published 1966

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.97 out of 10)
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Jul 25

Never ever... stand on a bears encyclopedia!Click for full image

Joachim’s Art Direction: For our story about ALIEN talking space bears let’s mix it with some Earth myth — you know, Goldilocks and the Three Bears– and since it’s for boys, a SWORD and a HUGE glass of beer (bear beer?)…
Published 1983

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.41 out of 10)
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