Good Show Sir

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Tom Noir’s Art Direction: I want a cover that depicts the author’s existential angst and self-loathing. Just kidding! Draw a naked broad with big gazongas on it and call it a day. Ooh, and maybe have a bird squawking at her.
Published 1993

(Average: 6.31 out of 10)

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Diggler’s Art Direction: What we need is a man in a hot tub doing some New Wave Impressionistic dance moves for his girlfriend on the video phone. Meanwhile we’ll have him being squirted by red dye for artistic effect… What do you think?
Published 1982

(Average: 7.90 out of 10)

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Frank Comments: I didn’t realize that coffee, cigarettes, and cheap women were that much of a secret. Maybe it’s the intravenous delivery, or the soaking in it, or the little marshmallows.
Published 1976

You might remember this from here. And here.

(Average: 7.98 out of 10)

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Jami Comments: Me giant floating head and shoulders of Demolished Man. Me crush tiny stereotypical Hammer film type female vampire and tiny floating head version of me. Then me play with all the pretty animals and the tiny naked women. Tiny clothed men can get moon dust out of my giant ear. Me have glowy thing above knuckle. Me love glowy thing.
Published 1978

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Click for previous Demolished Man cover here

(Average: 5.55 out of 10)

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Tom Noir Comments: It’s the little details that separate the good artists from the bad. For instance, notice the bit of man-bun sticking out from under this fellow’s fuzzy tutu. GENIUS!
Published 1984

(Average: 8.14 out of 10)

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Art Direction: How long are legs supposed to be? I’d say keep them on the long side of things. Don’t be afraid to get boob in their too. Just one boob though, two I believe would be considered excessive next to a half naked hunky man with only a bit of leather and cloth to cover his modesty.
Published 1982

(Average: 5.17 out of 10)

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Ian’s Art Direction: Did you see the cover that came back from the artist? It’s full of crotches! Crotches! I’ll be damned if I’m going to pay that idiot to fix it. See if you can get an intern in here to cover them up with oblong stickers or smudges or something. Make it look natural.
Published 1973

(Average: 5.48 out of 10)

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Joachim Comments: Girl with strategically placed stars (of course). Chola eyebrows and bleached blonde hair with walking shark with gill piercing/oops, I mean a chain-leash…. And she has claws of course — see, the cover is derived entirely from the TITLE!
Published 1975

(Average: 6.90 out of 10)

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Ian Comments: Reach for your gun! A man wearing nothing but a couple of spangly lights has just materialised and is scaring the women!
Published 1966

(Average: 8.06 out of 10)

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Phil Comments: Why John, you are so odd that I must hide behind these conveniently positioned but otherwise random spikes. But at least you’ve noticed me, which makes you not quite as odd as you used to be back in the days of: Odd John.

Published 1959

(Average: 8.22 out of 10)

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