Good Show Sir

Click for larger image

Joachim Comments: It’s one of these covers where words simply fail to describe the horrors at play — the garish colors cavorting among mutated humanoid shapes (Malcolm McDowell?) and what can only be a doe-eyed, disembodied, (potentially) cuddly dragon spirit monkey…
Published 1986

(Average: 8.51 out of 10)

Loading...

Click for full image

MisterBOB’s Art Direction: Its magical, so it glows, right! And have some chick pointing to a unicorn. No boobs! Bums are in.
Published 1989

I’m not so sure thats a chick MisterBOB!

(Average: 8.06 out of 10)

Loading...

Click for full image

Stevie Comments: Samuel Delaney’s Neveryona is so-over-the-top hetero soft porn. And the lead character is supposedly gay! What a bubble butt he’s got! I wish I had one of those! And what’s he doing with that giant sword, anyway?
Published 1983

Amazing! Many thanks to Stevie!

(Average: 7.90 out of 10)

Loading...

Click for full image

Tom Noir’s Art Direction: Okay, this is a Celtic fantasy, so obviously we want a buff surfer dude who is spaced out of his gourd. What? I dunno, put him in a kilt or something. You figure it out, that’s what you’re paid for isn’t it? Anyhow, magic it up. Slap a shiny silver border on with the author’s name in a clashing red font to distract suspicious readers. Anyhoo, I gotta jet, it’s 4:20.
Published 1993

Many thanks to Tom!

(Average: 8.45 out of 10)

Loading...

Click for full image

So when people escape from prison what usually happens to them? That’s right, their clothes rip. So the guy will be showing his well shaved muscle bound chest where as the women will show basically everything. We’ll have that, but with Mechs too! Because what cover isn’t improved with the addition of Mechs?

Thanks to Christopher!

(Average: 7.45 out of 10)

Loading...

Click for full image

A collection of fantasy stories? Well I know what they’ll want. A huge barbarian with a ponytail swinging his axe at randomly placed wood. Hmm, you’re right, needs thickened out. Throw a stereotype wizard/fireball combination in there and some damsel with a sword.

(Average: 6.45 out of 10)

Loading...

Click for full image

Ok! What would gods normally do, while inhabiting the body of a busty half naked women? Hmmm, how about standing by a sweet tower glowing oddly, on all fours in front of some sort of cat creature and swinging a sword about to decapitate a snake. Gods are all about the sexual innuendo! Yeaaaaahhhhaaa!

Thanks to David D!

(Average: 7.61 out of 10)

Loading...

Click for full image

Nothing says, ‘I’m one hundred percent pure man,’ than a glowing sword, blonde curtains and a cape with some red velvet lining. We’ll have him charging towards the reader on his horse, waving his sword and smiling manically. Make sure the fonts have at least three layers of bordering!

(Average: 4.59 out of 10)

Loading...

Click for full image

In the future pilots won’t just be piloting boring old planes or space ships. No! They’ll be piloting space scooters! Retro space scooters!! Going from space station to station, wearing their retro spacesuits and carrying their cargo of little blue blobs with little tentacles. No? Well, just draw it and hopefully it will come true by 2010.

Thanks to Dave K!

(Average: 8.43 out of 10)

Loading...

Click for full image

You know what the 1970’s scream? Car movies and Shaft. Everyone against the MAN! So kinda like those films but with a wind powered car, some small alien dude, an alien sting ray, spears, horrific landscape and some hot alien amazon chick pushing out her chest. Dig it!

Thanks so much to – guess who? – of course, the legend ChrisR!

(Average: 6.90 out of 10)

Loading...