Good Show Sir

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Tom Noir’s Art Direction: That’s a really nice painting you did for the Le Guin cover, but you know what would really sell it? Incorporating this photograph of my nephew and I at the Ren Faire. Don’t be silly, my mod seventies mullet-ponytail combo looks COMPLETELY medieval.
Published 1981 (maybe)

Many thanks to Tom!

(Average: 4.17 out of 10)

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Art Direction: The London underground, Pink Floyd concerts and the queue for Return of the Jedi. Do you know what they all have in common? They’re all… busy!! We don’t just need a strange bird attacking a unicorn, we need a full on boarder! With as much busyness as possible. I’m sure that’s sound logic… well pretty sure.
Published 1983

(Average: 5.71 out of 10)

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GK’s Art Direction: What do you mean you quit! You’re fired! I’ll have someone else finish the picture!
Published 1975

Many thanks to GK!

(Average: 4.89 out of 10)

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Terry’s Art Direction: You see, nothing says ‘saving the universe from a 30,000 year descent into barbarism’ like a floating dead brain and two eyeballs. Oh, and be sure to lace it with lightning, and oh yeah it is a space story so put stars and stuff behind it.
Published 1983 (maybe)

Still not exactly sure who the publisher is.
Many thanks To Terry!

(Average: 8.20 out of 10)

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Hayley Comments: This is what the back-cover says, “Warning: Graphic sex between a human woman and an alien male who is anatomically different from human men!”
Published 2008

Many thanks to Hayley!
Submitted through our wonderful Facebook group!

(Average: 8.30 out of 10)

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Glen Comments: It’s a naked man, holding a ray gun, being chased by dogs controlled by evil alien parasites from Titan, which agrees with the plot of Heinlein’s book. But why the red trilby hat? You would think that boots be more useful than a red hat, if you’re in an unclothed state on a hillside…
Published 1969

Males bums don’t need censored, right?
Many thanks to Glen!

(Average: 8.43 out of 10)

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Art Direction: We don’t need an artist! Have you seen what I can do with photoshop? Look, I can take this picture of Karen and… BAM… she’s blue! I know, hilarious right? And that’s not it, just cut and paste and… WHAM… she’s in a badly rendered icy landscape looking cold. Stick in the title and oh hold on, why is it behind her arm… Layers? Sounds like witchcraft to me. Finished!
Published 2004

(Average: 5.88 out of 10)

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Anne’s Art Direction: It’s a book of short stories by one of the most lyrical authors in the universe? I know, we’ll put a ripped blond naked guy on the front with something or other covering his nibbits. How about a tiger head? That sends the right sort of message, don’t you think? Then we’ll surround him with some dobermans for good measure. To top it off, we definitely need three different fonts but also distract everyone with an aurora border.
Published 1978

Many thanks to Anne!

(Average: 8.21 out of 10)

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George Comments: I feel as if there were drinking involved in the making of this design cover. Or drugs. Or rabies. I think this is what happens when clip art and Photoshop get used in the most horrible ways possible. EVERYTHING is horrifying in this cover. Does anything really need to be said? Just looking at this cover says it all.
Published 2009

Many thanks to George!

(Average: 8.59 out of 10)

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Art Direction: Kinda like those raunchy romance book covers with real people. Expect with a magical dragon and a hunky wizard waving around his magical staff. Who wouldn’t want to sleep with a guy who dresses like a wizard? Actually… good point… make sure to hire a model.
Published 2003

(Average: 4.84 out of 10)

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