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Jun 17

THOR! The mighty god with a hatred of pink fonts!Click for full image

Art Direction: Lets break away from the common Thor look stereotype. And by break away, I mean just don’t give him a cape. Keep the male skirt, shaved legs, long blonde hair and bunny ears helmet!
Published 1987

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.54 out of 10)
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Jun 08

Ah the 'Napoleon + Space = Awesome' equation!Click for full image

April’s Art Direction: So there’s this cosmic checkerboard, right? And on it we’ll have Alexander the Great, a Samurai, and Napoleon just kind of chilling out, each in their own separate square, completely unaware of anything around them.Now we just sit back and wait for the money to roll in.
Published 1995

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.39 out of 10)
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Jun 03

Is that... a monkey penis?Click for full image

Published 1972

Kill it! KILL IT!Click for full image

Published 1980

Whitney Comments: I’m sending in two different covers of the same book. They are both wretched.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.51 out of 10)
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May 19

No... don't sing a whole new world! It will summon death!Click for full image

Matt’s Art Direction: Fabric! I want to see lots of fabric. And hands, lots of dramatically posed hands. And least one bare breast, only you’ll have to conceal the nipple with something. How about a cross?
Published 1994

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.09 out of 10)
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May 17

Right! Got Wood jokes incoming!Click for full image

MisterBOB’s Art Direction: If your boyfriend doesn’t want his face on the cover, tell him to look away!
Published 1995

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.40 out of 10)
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May 16

Stop touching my leg, I'm pulling a dramatic pose!Click for full image

Jen Comments: “Sing with me, little one! ‘I-I-I’m a lumberjack and I’m okaaaay…'”
Published 1998

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.56 out of 10)
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May 09

And now we will explain the new governmental policies through the form of... interpretive dance!Click for full image

Kelly Comments: Bikini-wearing sorceress…fish guy in a toga…Robin Hood type cat-woman.. in a cathedral??
Published 1984

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.49 out of 10)
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Apr 28

pfffft! No one goes into battle in their pajama bottoms!Click for full image

Don’s Art Direction: Sorry, we can’t afford live models for this one. You’ll have to make do with the, “Barbarian Barbie & Ken With Stunned Horse” play-set.
Published 1991

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.31 out of 10)
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Apr 27

Ok.. don't let the dragon set us on fire, don't let the dragon set us on fire. don't let the... OH CRAP!Click for full image

NGpm Comments: This is one busy cover. Why does the dragon-saurus have a blue and red aura? Is the horse fireproof? You know this dragon’s dynamite: “look at the bones, man!” Overall the art isn’t bad, but the typography and that blurb about the Newberry is just so awkward.
Published 1986

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.40 out of 10)
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Apr 26

Ah whales... when will they learn they can never win against science. Those bastards.Click for full image

Christal Comments: Unbeknownst to the author, the night before the cover art was due the artist stayed up all night smoking weed and watching The Mummy and Star Trek IV on an endless loop all night long.
Published 1985

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.29 out of 10)
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