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Mar 27

The Deceivers

19 Comments »

Every knows all the planet sized girls who live in Jupiter love a man in a decorative space suit!Click for full image

Jaouad Comments: More proof of the ongoing Maori conquest of the universe.
Published 1987

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.39 out of 10)
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Mar 26

Eye of the Zodiac

23 Comments »

Don't move! There's a tiny man with a sword on your shoulder!Click for full image

Don Comments: Oi! Peter Pan! When you and your adventuring companion are being attacked by a mutant reptile puma with a bad case of sunburn, and said companion is trying to fight it off with his sword held backwards…probably not the best time to be checking out his butt. Nice though it is.
Published 1975

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.55 out of 10)
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Mar 19

Return from the Stars

28 Comments »

I pick this women! Her body is 3/4 legs!Click for full image

Colette’s Art Direction: We need to convey a Utopian future, so nothing represents that better than a pastel circuit-board Lego city with buildings encased in test tubes. Add a happy gorilla-headed torso man carrying a life-like unitard-wearing sex doll. Ooh, and lasers! And… and shoulder pads!
Published 1982
Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.53 out of 10)
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Mar 15

The Living One

22 Comments »

Hurry up and take the bloody picture!! This is burning through my hand!!Click for full image

Frank Comments: In this one, we know which character on the cover is referred to by the title, because he’s the one grabbing the active element on his weapon. The mannequins would never do such a thing.
Published 1980

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.13 out of 10)
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Mar 13

The Scroll of Man

44 Comments »

PHOAWWWW would you look at those.... uh.. shrubberies!Click for full image

MisterBob’s Art Direction: A priestess with a nice cleavage and a giant bong. Don’t forget the big alien cat (blue with orange spots!)
Published 1985

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.94 out of 10)
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Mar 07

The Book of the Mad

32 Comments »

Unknown to some, King Penguins are respected collectors of fine art.Click for full image

Tom Noir’s Art Direction: I want a cover that depicts the author’s existential angst and self-loathing. Just kidding! Draw a naked broad with big gazongas on it and call it a day. Ooh, and maybe have a bird squawking at her.
Published 1993

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.31 out of 10)
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Feb 27

Nebula Award Stories

12 Comments »

The Green Face strongly disapproves of fringes!Click for full image

Jason Comments: Thank God I started buying invisible eggs, that blonde would’ve ruined my red-heads omelette!
Published 1967

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.76 out of 10)
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Feb 20

The Patchwork Girl

32 Comments »

What happens when your space chest shaver... goes bad!!Click for full image

Diggler’s Art Direction: What we need is a man in a hot tub doing some New Wave Impressionistic dance moves for his girlfriend on the video phone. Meanwhile we’ll have him being squirted by red dye for artistic effect… What do you think?
Published 1982

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.90 out of 10)
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Feb 17

Behind the Walls of Terra

25 Comments »

The look of an average brain before their first morning coffee.Click for full image

Frank Comments: I didn’t realize that coffee, cigarettes, and cheap women were that much of a secret. Maybe it’s the intravenous delivery, or the soaking in it, or the little marshmallows.
Published 1976

You might remember this from here. And here.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.98 out of 10)
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Feb 15

Song of Sorcery

22 Comments »

I'm not jumping in that shallow swamp to save you! These are my best leggings!Click for full image

Libraryman Comments: I just don’t understand what good those wings will be.
Published 1984

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.61 out of 10)
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