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Oct 05

Why.... WHYYYYYYYYYYY!?!?

Marmontoast Comments: As an online repository of truly dreadful sci-fi covers grows larger, the probability of seeing a rocket with Hitler’s face approaches 1 – Godwin’s Law of ghastly art direction.
Published 1980

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.96 out of 10)
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Oct 04

Oh Chanur... who's your hair stylist? I love what they've done with your neck hair!Click for full image

Art Direction: Look it will just be like every cover you have ever seen but this time… they’re cat people! They’ll have everything a cat would normally have like fuzzy hair, cat mouths, pointy ears but no tails. Tails, I think would be a step too far! We don’t want people to be too embarrassed when they buy it!
Published 1983

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.55 out of 10)
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Sep 27

Look... I'm not playing chess until you.. take off those ridiculous butterfly wings for ears!Click for full SINFULLY NAKED image

Elijah’s Art Direction: Seriously, who are we kidding? Just throw some space-tits on there and call it a day.
Published 1984

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.78 out of 10)
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Sep 05

Ah the classic space Olympic event of UFO tossing.Click for full image

Joachim Comments: Space Olympics look exactly like regular Olympics except in cartoon and a space ship poking up in the background…
Published 1967

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.49 out of 10)
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Aug 26

Quickly men, we can almost see up his robes! Zap him with your electric wood!Click for full image

Jami Comments: It’s like Sarek Of Vulcan has somehow been crossed with a stereotypical hero in a western version of a Japanese movie. Meanwhile bubble headed bobbies are threatening him with roman candles.
Published 1985

Click here for the back cover

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.47 out of 10)
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Aug 18

Jesus don't need no oxygen...Click for full image

Mary Comments: Accompanied by the long lost monkey cousin of Scuba Horse?
Published 1982

You might remember this from here.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.51 out of 10)
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Aug 17

Space Simon Cowell looks down on alien Elvises!Click for full image

Mike Comments: Elvis is not dead, he’s a four-armed ghost reptile…IN SPACE!
Published 1995

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.41 out of 10)
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Aug 16

That is the strangest stomach hair I've ever seen.Click for full image

Scott Comments: Listen, dude, I hate to interrupt your sword-wielding meditation, but your hairy little man is showing. Your “klesh,” your “ler,” whatever you call it…
Published 1979

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.16 out of 10)
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Aug 09

I'm here kick ass and drink buckfast... and I'm all out of bucky...Click for full image

Brittney Comments: A kilt and a skin tight pink body suit? On the same cover? Really?
Published 1986

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.36 out of 10)
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Jul 28

Going to the toilet in a space suit always looks awkward.Click for full image

Jen Comments: You know, it’s been a while since I’ve read this, but you’d think I’d remember the part with the giant mecha vs. super soldier race. And boy, is that shiny.
Published 2001

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.62 out of 10)
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