Good Show Sir

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Rachel J’s Art Direction: All right, this cover practically designs itself.  Think “teleportation”, “futuristic detectives” and “shapeshifting alien saboteurs hiding out on the Moon”. I’ll leave the details up to you…
Published 1966

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MisterBob Comments: When i said a blindfold monkey could do the art, I didn’t mean…
Published 1970

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Joachim’s Art Direction: “Raw adventure” — with a whip, in underwear, make sure there’s a rocket… you know what I mean… it’s science fiction.
Published 1974

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Corey Comments: A naked woman on fire. Thanks Orson Scott Card.
Published 1979

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Art Direction: We all know the one thing vampires suffer from. Big handitus! What do you mean that isn’t a thing? Of course it’s a thing, a vampire thing! Look it says right here in the book of, your pay check! Now just draw some kid, in a cloak, looking like he should be in a broadway musical. And make his hands BIG!
Published 1985

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Andrew’s Art Direction: Okay, so here’s my idea.  Fonts.  This is a terribly confusing trilogy of books and we want the readers to know it.  So I want no less than 2 font types and 4 font sizes. The artwork?  Well it technically falls under sci-fi, so make sure there is a star-scape on there.  People will like that.  Then slap on just enough plot material to make the readers confused about what they are picking up. I smell an epic win with this one!
Published 1998

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Scott’s Art Direction: I was drinking fairly heavily when I read, “The E.S.P. Worm” but I’m pretty sure it was about an estranged pair of anthropomorphic sticks of chalk, plus a bespectacled penis, I mean “worm”, lassoing the Earth with its magic rainbow powers.  So put that on the cover!
Published 1970

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Kevin Comments: After centuries of being subjected to ridiculous Christmas and Halloween outfits, the feline race finally gets it revenge….in space.
Published 1979

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Alessandra’s Art Direction: I want the main characters looking soulful, or at least sulky.  I want the woman on the left missing her frontal lobes, but balance it out with piles of sausage curls on the woman below.  Give the woman on the right a freakishly small body and no flesh on her arms, no ribcage, in fact no anatomy at all.  Dress them in brightly colored Renaissance fair castoff costumes — don’t forget the purple!  Oh, and put in a horse because you do them so well.  Make its wings as sloppy as you like; we’re going to cover them with the title anyway.
Published 1978

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Tom Noir’s Ari Direction: Right, it’s called, “Chess With A Dragon.” Here’s my cover idea: there’s a bloke playing chess… wait for it… with a dragon. Tell me what I’m paying you people for again?!
Published 1988