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Apr 10

ALL UR BASES ARE BELONG TO MY PECKS!Click for full glorious image

Tom Noir Comments: America’s Explosive Tomorrow – Where men are men! Except when those men are also cars. And sometimes the car men cover their crotches with hubcaps, cause that’s what car men like, OKAY? What are YOU looking at, buster?? Does this cheese grater belt make by hips look big? Dammit.
Published 1991

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.75 out of 10)
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Jan 14

Mulan RogueClick for larger image

FluffyGhostKitten Comments: There’s using a sledgehammer to crack a nut, and then there’s this.

Published 1999

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.50 out of 10)
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Jan 13

That organ sonata makes me so ANGRYClick for larger image

Ryan Comments: Flash wanted to check just exactly how far he should trust Captain Redtights.

Published 1974

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.00 out of 10)
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Jan 12

The Moon of the Six SaturnsClick for larger image

Ken R. Comments: This beauty is from 1945, Duchess Publishing, Canada. It is infamous for it’s ugliness as well as crediting the editor, John W. Campbell, as the author. Ray Cummings sued to have it removed from the shelves, thus it’s scarcity.

You might remember this from here.

Published 1945

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.75 out of 10)
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Jan 11

Look the calendar. It’s 2021. I tried flipping the page to 2022 but that didn’t work. So instead of looking forward let’s look backward and reflect on our past glory.

On to the honours. Based on ratings, the recent “Swedish Megapost” is on top. But it is our judgement that it will need to stand the test of time longer than two weeks to claim top honours. Also some little prick in Paraguay has been screwing around with our stellar vote rating system. Somehow our election fraud complaints has drawn terrifying responses online. Therefore, the highest rated cover of 2020 is:

Nebuttla AwardClick for larger image

Nebula Award Stories 1

Our silver medal winner:

Bigfoot hopes to marry off his daughterClick for larger image

The Little Boy Who Could Talk to Bigfoot

And the bronze medal winning:

Blood autumn ... now flavoured with pumpkin spice!Click for larger image

Blood Autumn

My personal favourite cover of 2019:

Lassie Come HomeClick for larger image

The Trouble With Heroes

Tag Wizard’s chosen favourite for the year:

It's not ShakespearClick for larger image

Runespear

And we were finally able to reach Tweet Jane, who has been away on a lengthy … let’s call it a sabbatical. My favourite cover is The Beasts of Tarzan. For no other reason than I feel just like the lion looks.

The Breasts of TarzanClick for larger image

The Beasts of Tarzan

Now back to checking on the status of my Singaporean citizenship application. I leave you in the trusted hands of Tag Wizard. Feel free to tag your favourites in the comments below!
— GSS Admin

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 9.00 out of 10)
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Dec 23

Feeling Lucky? Punk.Click for larger image

It's not a fetish. She's just a boot buff.Click for larger image

Christmas morning she'll be happier married to the Hoover.Click for larger image

Skid Row Secret SantaClick for larger image

Good Show Sir Comments: This year sucked and Christmas 2020 is a grinch-fest. So let’s go back to a simpler, happier time when you could page through magazines (remember them?!) shopping for wildly inappropriate Xmas presents.

Presenting the Good Show Sir Megapost Cavalcade of Poor Christmas Shopping Choices!

1. This isn’t helping Santa’s chimney soot black lung

2. When Santa visits Miss Microsheen, it’s shiny boots and no red suit.

3. Give your wife a vacuum cleaner for Xmas and the Hoover will be the only one sucking your dick

4. The first rule about Booze Club is you don’t talk about Booze Club.

Have a happy holiday and we’ll see you in a couple weeks with our Olde Year Summe Up!

Now let’s all sit back and enjoy the He Man & She-Ra Christmas Special!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 9.33 out of 10)
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Dec 22

Use Google Chrome for maximum viewing pleasureClick for larger image

Wendy Comments: She’s acting tough pretending she didn’t just set her left hand on fire.

Published 1999

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.80 out of 10)
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Dec 21

Neck: BROKENClick for larger image

Ryan Comments: Featured Tunics: TWO
Baen Blue/Orange Spectrum: YES
Fainting Damsels: ONE
Laser Fire Accuracy: PISS POOR

Published 1994

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.00 out of 10)
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Dec 17

Who doesn’t love Swedish sci-fi covers?! Recall the fun we all had with Skeppsbruten på Tschai last year. We recently stumbled upon the delightful WordPress blog “enlitenbloggomrymden” (“small blog space”) which has a wealth of terrible covers from the publisher Lindqvist. These were published from 1969-1971 and I’ve included a few of our favourites below. Have at them and enjoy!

The Swedish Olympic Salamander Dressage TeamOch stjärnornas konungar dö

Plot a course, Mr SuluVindarnas Planet

Swingin' medallions indeedFrämmande Rymdskepp

Moorcock! She screamedSlutstriden

Good Show Sir Comments:

1. Swedish dominatrix says “your safe word is Ochstjärnornaskonungardö”

2. Flavour-sealed for freshness

3. Busted by the fashion police

4. Sluts-a-ridin’

Published 1969-1971

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 9.14 out of 10)
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Dec 16

Bust a moveClick for larger image

Slobodan Comments: old man in new world … learns a new dance step!

Published 1949

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.25 out of 10)
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Dec 15

She's swapping that old bald husband for a sheet metal buddyClick for larger image

Good Show Sir Comments: I’ll save you the trouble. Google Translate: “Sheet Metal Buddy”.

Published 1982

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.50 out of 10)
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