Apr 07
Eron Comments: This cover is particularly appalling because of it’s simplicity. We get the text: Unicorns. Peace. Then the image: Unicorn. Twilight. BIG ORANGE Unicorn. Castle. Sure. Also, it seems to me that something is wrong on the perspective on the unicorn… it’s sort of falling on it’s side if I’m seeing it correctly?
Many thanks to Eron!
April 7th, 2010 at 11:11 am
That is quite the unicorn. Not sure if I would read this one in public… or would I….
Curiously, are unicorns always white?
April 7th, 2010 at 2:41 pm
Brown/Orange colour i woud say in this case. Its been rolling in its own feces, which explains Erons theory about it about to fall over.
April 7th, 2010 at 4:09 pm
What is it with you and rolling about in feces?
Slow day… slow day. My mind hurts. Not enough sarcastic jokes. Maybe people are on holiday.. gits.
April 7th, 2010 at 4:47 pm
At least the Unicorn will be taken out of its misery and won’t have to read this ridiculous book.
April 7th, 2010 at 8:58 pm
Its forelegs are at the wrong angle to the rest of the body. Unless someone has horribly tortured the unicorn. I suspect this isn’t going to be the case in a book with a cover like that.
April 8th, 2010 at 10:39 am
Do unicorns roll in their own faeces as a gesture of protest? I’m thinking Bobby Sands, the Maze Prison, hunger strikes, mustard-yellow walls, and so forth. “We want Unicorn Peace and we want it now, and if we don’t get it we’re going to smear ourselves with our own poo until we do. Yeah, that ought to work. The politician-mage oppressors over in Inglande will definitely cave in to our demands.”
April 19th, 2010 at 7:04 pm
I have this book, and a few others. All the covers don’t really say what the books are about other than unicorns. I haven’t read the series yet though because I don’t have the first book!
April 20th, 2010 at 1:18 am
I love that highly interesting and original synopsis on the cover: “The winds of change blow over the magic land and the unicorns return.”
I mean, is that how the author actually pitched that to his editor? They could have at least spiced it up a bit…
How about: “The blistering winds scour the festering, magic-strewn cesspit, and the four unicorns of the apocalypse return to wreak enchanted unholy vengeance upon mankind!”
Or maybe just: “The winds of change blow over the magic land and the unicorns return… with herpes.”
April 20th, 2010 at 11:49 pm
Wow, I read that series and I think I remember that cover…I remember really enjoying the series though.. but back then I read every fantasy book that was published.. so YMMV.
April 22nd, 2010 at 6:36 am
i thought of winds when i saw the unicorn being blown over by them. … they must be very strong… I need to read that book to find out how strong..
April 22nd, 2010 at 11:03 am
Well we all know unicorns one weakness. Strong winds and feces!
April 22nd, 2010 at 11:47 am
that’s two weaknesses…
April 22nd, 2010 at 12:00 pm
Son of a unicorn. Ok… but wind and feces combined as one is …. winces!
July 15th, 2010 at 1:31 pm
I think the poor thing has jaundice – no wonder it’s falling over, it needs a liver transplant, stat!
October 26th, 2012 at 7:20 pm
that brings to mind the age-old pasttime of cow-tipping…
October 26th, 2012 at 10:39 pm
I might have asked this before, but…
Given the popularity of unicorns (horses with horns), pegasuses (horses with wings) and centaurs (horses with people-tops for heads)… why no books about cross-breeds such as the one-horned winged centaur?
October 27th, 2012 at 10:31 pm
My God, that blurb is unbelievable:
“The winds of change blow over the magic land, and the unicorns return.”
Was this written by a schoolgirl in the first grade?
Try it with small alterations, and you get the exact same amount of nonsense:
“The light breeze of change blows over the magic land, and the pink elephants return.”
“The gale of change blows over the magic land, and the flying pigs return.”
“The cyclone of change blows over the magic land, and the Grinch returns.”
October 28th, 2012 at 4:50 am
So….does this book have any unicorns in it?
October 29th, 2012 at 11:34 am
It’s not a unicorn. It’s a horse standing in front of a narwhal.
October 29th, 2012 at 2:15 pm
I think the horse is actually leaning against the narwhal.
June 16th, 2013 at 12:14 am
Seeing the title on the spine of this book, I would move right on without even checking the cover art. Is this book targeted at a young female audience? I’ll take a stab at guessing the plot. Here goes,
For long ages the Gumdrop Goblins and the Fudgecreme Faeries have waged war over the CottonCandy Woods and Licorice Lakes. There seemed to be no end in sight, until the arrival of Urinsokos the Unicorn Lord. A cease fire was brokered and the Toffee Tossing Trebuchet and Caramel Coated Catapults fell silent. Thereafter was great rejoicing and massive dental decay as all celebrated the Unicorn Peace. Hurrah!!
No?
I wanna see trendy, but new. Yes. How about…Vampire Unicorns Versus Zombie Dragons? Or has that been done?
June 16th, 2013 at 9:22 am
Books like this are always part of a “sagaâ€. Because just one book about unicorns is never enough.
I wonder what makes the “magic land†more magical than your garden-variety fantasy setting?
September 24th, 2014 at 1:53 am
The war against the Outlanders is over and Jarrod Courtak is now a senior mage. He and Marianne, the only humans who can communicate with unicorns, marry. Because every girl wants to enter into a heteronormal subservient relationship with a sensitive, successful partner.
I think Hoofy the Hurled Unicorn’s caramel colour is leading to hyperglycemia!
September 28th, 2014 at 1:56 pm
IF the unicorn had been rolling about in its own faeces, then it would be a multi-coloured unicorn – we all know unicorns excrete butterflies and rainbows.
July 30th, 2015 at 7:59 pm
Unicorns!
July 31st, 2015 at 7:44 pm
“The winds of change blow over the magic land, and the unicorns return. They rock you like a hurricane, still loving you.”
July 31st, 2015 at 9:57 pm
@anon: Scorpions!
September 19th, 2015 at 7:48 am
All that’s wrong with this cover is that the blurb is mistyped.
It should read:
“The winds of change blow over the unicorns, and the magic land returns”
See, picture makes sense now!
September 19th, 2015 at 12:28 pm
‘The winds of change return, blow the unicorns over, and the magics land.’
September 19th, 2015 at 7:30 pm
After the second bag of fermented magic oats, the Unicorns! began to feel tipsy.
September 24th, 2015 at 7:46 am
Imagine the blurb sung like an 80s power ballad by Joey Tempest:
The winds of change
blow over the magic land
and in the heat of the night
the unicorns return
Unicorn Peace!
Unicorn Peace!
Blow over the magic land…
November 29th, 2015 at 4:37 pm
‘Frau Blücher!’
(someone had to say it)
November 30th, 2015 at 1:33 am
@Dead Stuff: I’ll henceforth have no option but to visualise you as Marty Feldman (Dead Stuff With Big Eyes?) 🙂
FWIW, in earlier years I’ve been described as resembling a ‘young Woody Allen’, while in more recent times a really, really drunk woman was convinced I was Bill Gates!
November 30th, 2015 at 12:58 pm
@Perry: Imagine, if you will, that Lance Henriksen and Michelle Barber had a statistically-significant number of children. Now, imagine that those children were forced to duel to the death. Now, imagine that E.T. was allowed to show mercy on one of the runners-up and grant him/her life. I am a dead-ringer for his second or third choice. So, you’re not far off, but much more concise. 😀
November 30th, 2015 at 4:37 pm
“Which piece of your giant fantasy puzzle are you missing, dear?”
“The UNICORN PIECE!!”
January 20th, 2017 at 1:24 am
Listen, a palomino unicorn is going to sell to girls no matter if the perspective’s off or what the contents are. This is actually brilliant marketing. I’d have bought this immediately as a pre-teen.
June 24th, 2017 at 10:59 pm
@GSS consumer: The change of xnoob blows over the counter, and the Unicorns! lands in her shopping bag.
June 25th, 2017 at 4:52 pm
A new study published this week proves that, contrary to the old adage, sex doesn’t sell. So I suggest we update this phrase to the more accurate, ‘Unicorns! Sell’.
June 26th, 2017 at 11:51 pm
Unicorns!
My inner 9 year old wanted another look at this cover.
Judging by the price, I was married by the time this came out, and so I’ll never know.
A quick Google says 1993. And we’ve seen the cover of another volume of this saga as well — the one with 3 unicorns! floating in mid-air. The Unicorn! Solution.
January 1st, 2021 at 5:30 pm
In the story, the magic winds cause all those of the land with orange spray-tans and bleach-blonde hair to transform into similarly-colored Unicorns!
January 1st, 2021 at 5:53 pm
The Saga of Strand begins like this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WjBHUQEiTPw and continues thus: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rmr-ANvGswg
So the trilogy ends with a unicorn the colour of those Revels you don’t want but mistake for Maltesers. That figures.
January 2nd, 2021 at 2:49 am
@Tat: Having looked up the candies mentioned, I can say I wouldn’t want most of the Revels flavors, but would like Maltesers.
Maybe if Unicorns! eat too much chocolate, they fall over. Or get windy. Or both.
January 2nd, 2021 at 3:23 am
I was unaware of the existence of the Land of Strand, let alone it having a Saga. I guess I didn’t buy enough books with unicorns on the cover.
@GSS ex-noob: according to the long-running documentary series “My Little Pony”, Unicorns and other Magical Ponies can eat almost unlimited amounts of sweets with no harm aside from an annoying friendlier-than-thou attitude.
Hopefully, those winds of change aren’t the same as change-winds: that unicorn really wouldn’t look good with a human face. https://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/?p=10966
And speaking of changes, are we going to be stuck with the Christmas Megapost until, say, 12th Night? People are so desperate for new mockery they’re even going after “The Unicorn Peace!”
January 2nd, 2021 at 11:28 pm
@Bruce: What do you think the He-Man video is for?
January 3rd, 2021 at 5:41 am
@THX 1139: actually watching that would require more booze than I have on hand.
January 3rd, 2021 at 7:25 am
@Bruce: Maybe My Little Unicorn! has had so much that it’s gamboled and romped excessively from the sugar rush, and falling over is the result.
Or our original thought that the winds of change are blowing hard enough to make Unicorns! fall over.
Is that the Castle Aaaaggghh in the background? And is that the noise the falling Unicorn! is making?
January 4th, 2021 at 12:55 am
@GSS ex-noob: if a Unicorn falls over across the Loch, and nobody in Aaaaggghh is paying attention, does it make a noise?
January 4th, 2021 at 11:23 pm
I think The Narrator hears it.
And possibly The Animator, unless this is after his attack.