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May 24

Yes!! May is so full of UK Bank Holidays which means only one thing… which the world eagerly awaits… a special Good Show Sir post!

Today I bring you a French Mega Post! Sent in by the wonderful Cedric *coughs* two years ago… So I am just posting them now. Maybe it has something to do with me currently visiting Paris with le wonderful Tag Wizard. So watch out, French bookshops! We’ll be looking for more!

Enjoy the post and to those in the UK that get a long weekend, I hope you enjoy it!

Fly around like that... you're going to get crazy locals checking you out!Click for full UNSHEEPED image

Cedric Comments: The blue bird with rainbow wings and of course bare breasts (the marketing dept. strikes again) is already wonderful but what takes this cover to a higher level is the man at the bottom left, staring at the bird with a WTF look on his face. Beautiful.
Published 1982

These dudes don't even have any catnip... lets go... Click for full image

Cedric Comments: I can’t help but think the tiger and his friend the very stern bear keep bitching about their colleagues in the back, the hippo and his friend the fox (hyena? other strange mammal?).
Published 1983, available in English as “The Battle of Forever”

Nope... I really preferred when the giant gorilla attacked it... lets get it back in place!Click for full image

Cedric Comments: Fireworks! Giant face of a woman! Building with an antenna that goes straight into the aforementioned lady’s right nostril!
Published 1980, originally “Ein Komet fallt vom Himmel”

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.88 out of 10)
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32 Responses to “French Mega Post 2”

  1. THX 1138 Says:

    1: No wonder he’s shocked, look at the view he’s getting.

    2: “No, it’s Live Long and Prosper like this!”

    3: When you’re five hundred feet tall and have a cold, there’s only one thing to shift it.

  2. FeàrofMüsic Says:

    The only thing haughtier, snootier, and more arrogant than cat people?
    French cat people.

    “Those one-eyed robots are staring again. How gauche,
    how rude.”
    “Tourists. They must be American.”

  3. Bibliomancer Says:

    Une deux, Mega!

    Allons, mes amis!

    Une: From Wikipedia: “The Great Tit (Parus major) is a passerine bird in the tit family Paridae.” There is joke in there somewhere. (Totally unrelated, my favorite French mathematician is Jacques Tits. Look him up)

    Deux: Les personnes de chat … dans extérieur espace! Mon Dieux! MIAOU!

    Mega: Don’t ask where she stuck the Eiffel Tower!

    Au Revoir!

  4. JuanPaul Says:

    These are absolutely brilliant. The French are more sophisticated than everyone else even when it comes to create bad cover art.

  5. Tom Hering Says:

    Cover #1.

    Inspector (lower right corner): “I am here on official business and I am looking for someone in the recreation area.”

    Bird Woman: “Not unless you take off your clothes …”

    Inspector: “You, mademoiselle, are under arrest.”

    Bird Woman: “Arrest? What for?”

    Inspector: “For making lewd and suggestive remarks to an official of the French government.”

    Bird Woman: “Lewd and suggestive remarks?”

    Inspector: “Also for indecent exposure … doesn’t anyone wear any clothes around here?”

    Bird Woman: “No.”

    Inspector: “What!”

    Bird Woman: “This is a nudist colony.”

  6. Tom Hering Says:

    Cover #2.

    Inspector Tiger-Man: “Does your Bear-Man bite?

    HAL (Hotel Algorithmic Computer): “No.”

    Inspector Tiger-Man: [raising his hand to pet the Bear-Man] “Nice Bear-Man.”

    [Bear-Man growls and bites Inspector Tiger-Man in the hand]

    Inspector Tiger-Man: “I thought you said your Bear-Man did not bite!”

    HAL: “That is not my Bear-Man.”

  7. Tom Noir Says:

    #1: I have a sudden and strange urge to take up bird-watching!

    #2: “And so I says to them, ‘Whaddya mean I gots human hands?!?'”

    #3: “You need to tell her she’s got something on her nose.” “No, you tell her!”

  8. Tom Hering Says:

    Cover #3.

    Madame Dreyfuss: “I think by now that the nations of the world are aware of the awesome power which I control! A power so great, if I choose, I could wipe out an entire city! … I want wreckage, twisted metal. Something the world will not forget! … I have to tinkle again. Don’t do anything till I get back.”

    [Madame Dreyfuss exits, returns, and then fires the Doomsday Device]

    Madame Dreyfuss: “Don’t just stand there, idiot. Call a doctor. And then help me find my nose!”

  9. Phil Says:

    Once again, Space Sheep works a treat, not just in preserving blue bird-lady (ladybird?)’s dignity(!) but saving the hilarity of her so-wrong-in-this-context devils’ dumplings until the last possible minute.

    Great to see that Van Vogt is now writing FUTURAMA novelisations, albeit with cat-people.

    And that giant head floating over New York has just vomited up an Empire State Building. Must have been something she ate.

  10. Rags Says:

    Book #1;

    Ah the eternal struggle all men face. Our love of eating fowl vs our love of snu-snu. Which will our hero choose? Cast your votes now!!

    Wait…a….sec….

  11. B. Chiclitz Says:

    1. Oui, les Français sont tellement sophistiqués that they had to put “SCIENCE FICTION” in gigantic (and ugly font) letters on the cover so the average reader wouldn’t think this was a book on ornithology (“Ah, le PARUS MAJOR, mon oiseau préféré!”).

    2. So I sez to her I sez, “Lady, I was talking to the pig.” snork snork

    3. If this is the Great Fear from Heaven, why are the comets shooting upward?

  12. SI Says:

    Cover 3: “Oh sorry…. I didn’t think this street was… uh… occupied… I’ll come back later.”

    0_o

  13. fred Says:

    1. Soleil Moon(s) Frye
    2. “I swear to god I didn’t know she was your sister!”
    3. Bat Signal prototype #42.

  14. Jerk of all Trades Says:

    Cover #1: The expression of the man in the lower right corner is as horrified as it is because he just discovered that the LSD is still in its sealed container in his jacket pocket, and has realized what this means.

    “I probably shouldn’t have given her my number either.”

  15. Tat Wood Says:

    #2: Igor and Grischka just didn’t know when to stop, did they? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bogdanov_Affair http://www.ausgamers.com/forums/general/thread.php/2901988 (Sorry about the unsalubrious link, but the most available is the Daily Mail).

  16. Stevie T Says:

    1. So that’s what the Bluebird of Happiness looks like.

    2. “And so I said ‘Catnip?! I thought it was Tarragon! Hahahahah! Hey, um, is that a giant crab standing behind us?”

    3. Apparently, Giant Floating Heads snort transmitting towers to get high. Who knew?

  17. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Just “Konsalik” in large type… well, well.
    Apparently it’s a universal phenomenon that when a writer (or actor) gets big enough, he is referred to with his last name only.

    [Gritty French trailer voice-over]
    “Snipes. Stallone. Konsalik. LA GRANDE PEUR VENUE DE CIEL. Cette fois, c’est payback time.”

  18. Jaouad Says:

    A Comet Shaped Like a Woman’s Head Falls from Heaven. And is spiked on the Empire State Building. The End.

  19. Anti-Sceptic Says:

    #1:

    “I told her not to drink the Redbull!”

    #2:

    “Tiger Man, to get with the ladies you gotta try this new technique. You use two fingers like this…”

    #3:

    “Fire missiles!”

    “How can you guys miss a 10,000 foot tall face in the sky!”

    “Sorry sir. She fooled the missiles by pretending to be part of the spire.”

  20. Mosquito_Wenzi Says:

    The second one seems to be missing. It sounds fantastic though; is there any way to recover it?

  21. GSS Admin Says:

    It has been recovered! 🙂

  22. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    And what a wonderful way to end Salute to Funny Foreign Languages Week here on GSS than with a MegaPost remix! Jolly good show.

  23. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @Bibliomancer (3)—I finally did look him up. Here’s the first line of his wikipedia entry: “Jacques Tits (French: [tits]; born 12 August 1930 in Uccle) is a Belgium-born French mathematician who works on group theory and incidence geometry, and who introduced Tits buildings, the Tits alternative, and the Tits group.”

    I think they’re having way too much fun with the name here, but I wonder what the entrance requirements are for joining the Tits Group.

  24. Francis Boyle Says:

    They said that my Tondeuses à nez nucléaire was useless because it required a multi storey building to house it but when the attack of the 5000 foot woman happened it turned out to be surprisingly useful.

  25. fred Says:

    #2 – I believe the leopard is wearing nail polish. A much more sophisticated way of gender identification then we have in #1.

    #3 – Pretty lady…giant phallic symbol…fireworks…nothing to see here people – move along.

  26. Bibliomancer Says:

    @BC – Caitlyn Jenner recently joined the Tits Group.

  27. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @B’mancer—he used to belong to the Tits Alternative.

  28. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Correction: she

  29. JuanPaul Says:

    I see nothing strange about these covers.

    The above comment is discredited by the fact that I’m in Amsterdam.

  30. GSS ex-noob Says:

    The man in #1 doesn’t look WTF, he looks frightened. And considering he’s right in line with her derriere, and considering when birds poop, he should be.

  31. JuanPaul Says:

    #2 “… and let me tell you about Todd! He is such a douche, one time he…he’s standing right behind me, isn’t he?”

  32. GSS ex-noob Says:

    #2 The hand position — is it Leopard Space Pope, giving a blessing to Bear Man?

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