Good Show Sir

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Joachim Comments: “Devil dude,” said the blonde-headed potbellied forest spirit,”I’m not into your steroid enhanced red muscles with sheathing belly skin around the bottom look.”
Published 1995

(Average: 8.00 out of 10)

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We have here a trio of Honourable Mentions since these are e-books and technically not being photographed sitting in our sweaty hands. But the “publisher” Phoenix Pick informs us that you can own an actual dead-tree book version of the same. The odds are vanishingly small that any book versions of these titles would ever be found in what few book stores still exist. So let’s have our fun with these e-book pix nicked from the Intertubes. I see some vestige of an artist signature on one of these. Go figure. But none of my usual sources gives any hint who they might be. So Unknown Artist Institute it is.

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Good Show Sir Comments:

1. He-man and Cat-in-the-Hat take on flaming Gummi-Bear monster.

2. Stop wearing the chamois, son. I’ve got to dry the car.

3. Don’t think you’re setting a foot outside wearing that strapping outfit!

Published 2012

(Average: 9.47 out of 10)

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Bibliomancer Comments: Who ya gonna call?! Car-nack-i!

Published 1973

(Average: 9.42 out of 10)

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Wendy Comments: Open wide and say “WHAAAAAA?????”

Published 1971

(Average: 9.38 out of 10)

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Phil’s Art Direction: That’s the Bradbury story about an android grandmother, isn’t it? A sweet, family tale? Right, so let’s have either a muscle man or a horse on the cover. Better yet, a muscle man who IS a horse. And so ripped, that even his muscles have muscle men on them. On a wraparound cover.
Published in 1972

Outstanding! Good Show Phil!

(Average: 9.21 out of 10)

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Billy Awesome Comments: Pull out all the stops.  I want the head of Sturgeon as a devil, floating on an asteroid made partially of humanoid hands and torsos, and partially of a futuristic city that looks like a garbage truck, his hair a naked lady with a peacock feather magic aura, his brow haloed by dollar store xmas tinsel.  I want a topless mermaid riding a unicorn over a chain that secures nothing.  I want an astronaut trying to take a smoke break through his bubble helmet, and a nude baby on a floating cockle shell awestruck by the majesty of it all.  Don’t let me down.  Let’s make some magic!
Published 1964

(Average: 9.13 out of 10)

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Bibliomancer Comments: And after only a few dozen sessions on the E-meter you will so far exceed normal human ability that you can eat a turkey drumstick wearing a bear suit and not feel stupid. Honest!
Published 1989

(Average: 9.09 out of 10)

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Grady Comments: I’m disappointed, to be honest. The back of the book says, “They speak German. They carry whips. And they are connected in some mysterious way with Nazi experiments carried out in the charming old Irish castle during World War II.” Meh, I’ve seen more charming Irish castles.
Published 1968

(Average: 9.08 out of 10)

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Kim Comments: The wolf is only dangerous when he escapes from his carer.
Published 1975

(Average: 9.08 out of 10)

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Bibliomancer Art Direction “What’s that title? Scattered Bodies? I’m on it boss. I’ll have it on your desk in an hour!”

Published 1973

You might remember this from here.

(Average: 9.08 out of 10)

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Joachim’s Art Direction: One-eyed sex runts. No other words are necessary….
Published 1970

(Average: 9.06 out of 10)

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