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Aug 12

Dating websites always seem to set me up with lions...Click for full image

Art Direction: A normal lion! That’s right, not a man lion or even a lion holding a laser rifle. You see, that guy by the water cooler was a genius! Why change a winning formula? Expect this time, leave off the sword and instead we’ll have lots of magical glowing. Magical… purple glowing!
Published 2011

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.45 out of 10)
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Aug 11

Thank god I shaved my arm pit hair today! How stupid would I have looked?!Click for full image

Jami Comments: I’m not witty, so here’s some man titty.
Published 1979

Click here for back cover

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.45 out of 10)
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Aug 09

I'm here kick ass and drink buckfast... and I'm all out of bucky...Click for full image

Brittney Comments: A kilt and a skin tight pink body suit? On the same cover? Really?
Published 1986

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.47 out of 10)
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Aug 08

Girls always turn out to have complex chemical structures for chests!Click for full image

Joachim Comments: I love most of Richard Powers’ surrealist covers — but, this one… Surrealism exponentially cheapened with a gigantic looming OUTRAGEOUSLY pink girl with strategically placed element models and a pistolled cowboy with a space suit and matching pink gloves and boots… And throw in some little men with spears, a spaceship and scattered cacti for good effect.
Published 1955

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.00 out of 10)
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Aug 05

Playboy Paperbacks - Providing the thoughts of the internet, before the internet!Click for full image

Colette’s Art Direction: I want a sultry naked blonde chick right up front, but she should be part supermodel and part sasquatch. She’ll need tiny webbed talon paws, a foxtail, and wings- or maybe just one big wing! And throw in a little hot genie-on-genie action for good measure.
Published 1982

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.78 out of 10)
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Aug 02

Sci-Fi - sexually awaking teenage boys since the 1960's!Click for full image

Kelly Comments: Considering that later editions have an absolutely gorgeous cover by Michael Whelan, I’m always a bit horrified to see the travesty on my own copy of the book. It looks like a poster for some kind of low-budget 70s bondage. My poor eyes!

Muttley Comments: Did you see a mouse? I’m sure there’s a mouse in here. Gonna blow that mouse away . . .
Published 1981

Thanks to Kelly and Muttley who both sent this in!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.97 out of 10)
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Jul 29

I learnt this one from Japanese teenagers...Click for full image

Art Direction: You know what I feel enhances any work of art… glow! Imagine the scene, two young lovers entwined in… tentacles… and around them a mystical blue glow to signify magic or possibly the sharing of deep feelings. Nah I’m just kidding, we all know what he’s going to use those things for. But the glow will enchance something I’m sure!
Published 1984

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.90 out of 10)
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Jul 20

Yep that's Ireland alright... full of bondage obsessed Nazi gnomes!Click for full image

Grady Comments: I’m disappointed, to be honest. The back of the book says, “They speak German. They carry whips. And they are connected in some mysterious way with Nazi experiments carried out in the charming old Irish castle during World War II.” Meh, I’ve seen more charming Irish castles.
Published 1968

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 9.09 out of 10)
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Jul 18

I haven’t done a mega post or an honourable mentions in a while so here we go! Here’s a collection of some special French covers sent in by Cedric and Paul. Thanks very much and I hope everyone enjoys them!

Seriously... what?!!?Click for full image

Cedric Comments: Here is a wonderfully psychedelic and disturbing cover. This is before Photoshop, in the late 70s/early 80s.
Published 1977

Shoo! Shoo! We're trying to have an evil picnic here!Click for full MORALLY CORRUPTIBLE image

Cedric Comments: Note the strange animal at the front, confused about whether it should be a polar bear, an unicorn or some kind of big eagle. Or maybe a big confused cat, judging by the claws? And of course you can find a lightly clad lady in the back, requested by the marketing department to boost sales.
Published 1982

Once you get used to the fur everywhere and the feces they're surprisingly good warriors!Click for full image

Cedric Comments: There is something highly disturbing about these little hairy folks.
Published 1990

Eyes, or kiwi's?Click for full image

Paul’s Art Direction: Mutants have eyes. This is an anthology of mutant stories that means lots of eyes in fact so many eyes you could float on them, do it!
Published 1974

Space Sheep censoring doesn't count for ugly nakedness!Click for full image

Paul’s Art Direction: Make everything droopy!
Published 1972

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.82 out of 10)
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Jul 15

Centaur's really do hate Strawberry Blondes!Click for full image

Art Direction: Well with the name Alpha Centauri our cover is basically spelt out for us… Centaur taking a point blank shot at a red headed girl straight out of Sunday school while she rides a horse. Make sure to make her jumper a timeless classic, something you could look back at in a hundred years and say… that never went out of fashion.
Published 1982

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.83 out of 10)
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