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Nov 24

My name is Inigo Montoya... I'm here to fix your washing machine.Click for full UNCENSORED image

Simon Comments: Not only does the illustration not match the fairy-tale quality of the title (not to mention the story), it does not look like the kind of thing you’d find at a library booksale, where I saw it, and where I was urged by my sister to buy it on the grounds that you can never have too many copies of this book, especially one as bizarre as this.
Publication 1974

I give this two Ronnies!
Many thanks to Simon.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.92 out of 10)
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Nov 23

It maybe flashy, but they are the best interpretive dance group around.Click for full image

Libraryman comments: I love how it seems as if the characters are just randomly placed around this dead body. Kind of like a cluedo clue. “It was Sinbad with the scimitar in the dungeon!”
Published 1995

This cover… is perfect!
Libraryman, good show sir!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.88 out of 10)
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Nov 19

Wow... she's really enjoying that copy of I Sing the Body Electric!Click for full image

John Comments: The artwork reminds me of a late 1950s B Movie.
Published 1988

Real men wear loincloths.
Many thanks to John!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.36 out of 10)
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Nov 16

'I can haz cheezburger' by Stanley Kubrick.Click for full image

NGpm Comments: Okay, so there’s this face vase thing on the left, but it’s a mushroom (just like what the art director just ate) … and a decaying woman that is scaring the mess out of a cat that lives in Salvador Daliwood.
Published 1980

Includes – The Puppet Masters, Double Star & The Door into Summer
Many thanks to NGpm!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.83 out of 10)
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Nov 12

Not to worry my lord! I'll shave this... HIPPY... with my sword!Click for full image

Art Direction: You know when facial hair becomes so intense it actually takes over your head? Well exactly like that, also with an evil blue guy and a king. Oh and a princess! And a guy with a sword! Ah, just put everything on there within a glorious yellow boarder!
Published 2001

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.73 out of 10)
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Nov 09

Scary uncle, still ruins every photo.Click for full image

Nix Comments: You may recognise some aspects of this cover. The huge glowy face on the left? That, I think, is Tung: I suspect Miles is the other glowy face. In the book, Tung’s never described as having any kind of moustache, and it would fit poorly inside a combat helmet, but hey, Eurasians all look like Ming the Merciless, right? Right?
Published 1997

You might remember me from such covers as The Vor Game.
Many thanks to Nix!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.21 out of 10)
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Nov 01

Cover yourself up man! Your tackle is scaring me horse!Click for full image

Jeweleya Comments: This cover is so off-putting to me that I can’t bring myself to read the book. A few highlights –

  • The sword dissolving into blue dust
  • The barbarian’s barely-decent rags (it’s refreshing that the woman is wearing more than the man, for once)
  • The utterly generic, swirly, rainbow-threw-up-on-it background
  • And my personal favorite: the horse that looks like it’s just been flung backwards from a giant slingshot

…Indeed, a cover for the ages.
Published 1978

Many thanks to Jeweleya!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.54 out of 10)
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Oct 19

I'm a respectable witch. I just can't date a guy with a blonde pony tail!Click for full image

Elijah Comments: What’s amazing isn’t just how ugly it is (and it is very ugly), or even the fact that it’s a book by a great author (because this happens to great authors, and Bradley definitely did go downhill eventually). No, what makes this ridiculous is that it’s by a great author AND it’s a Tor book. I mean, Tor has ugly covers sometimes, but this looks self-published…
Published 1997

Many thanks to Elijah!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.41 out of 10)
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Oct 15

I have been enjoying the delights of Helsinki this week and I have had a wonderful time. Well, except for the price of beer! 7 Euros for a pint! It makes me want to cry!

In honour I decided to search through a couple of the book shops here for the Finnish versions of some popular Sci-Fi and Fantasy. Some of them are just a little odd and a couple do make me laugh.

I hope you all enjoy these wonderful covers!

Am I supposed to be missing a finger?Click for full image

RunClick for full image

Well, we haven't gone off the map, more onto it.Click for full image

Its hard to see how badly photoshopped this one is.Click for full image

What luck.. they sent the blind soldiers after us.Click for full image

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.87 out of 10)
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Oct 14

Sex? I actually reproduce via spores... ah well...Click for slightly bigger image

Hayley Comments: This is what the back-cover says, “Warning: Graphic sex between a human woman and an alien male who is anatomically different from human men!”
Published 2008

Many thanks to Hayley!
Submitted through our wonderful Facebook group!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.89 out of 10)
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