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Feb 07

It’s time for Mars Sexytime Honourable Mentions. And it’s a score in more ways than one. Scraping the bottom of the Mars barrel, here are three also-rans that, for various reasons, didn’t meet our STRICT AND RIGIDLY ENFORCED GROUND RULES.

Sex Life on the Planet Mars. I can’t find much info on whether this is comedy, sci-fi or maybe even a mystery. But I’m not surprised it’s written by this guy. Somewhere Capt Kirk is getting a boner.

Puts the Martian in M.I.L.F.Click for larger image

A Princess of Mars. Further proof of the benefits of novels losing their copyright and entering the public domain. This is an actual by-the-rules science fiction book cover, but it’s print-on-demand and I didn’t feel like spending a tenner of Tag Wizard’s expense account money to buy a copy.

A Poledancer of MarsClick for larger image

Mars Ho! It’s a Kindle ebook cover. I think it’s also paperback but, since nobody is in a hurry to send that cover in, this will just have to do.

Let's throw a hoedown!Click for larger image

Good Show Sir Comments: Thanks to Cyndi-with-an-i, me, and Sir Douglas Quintet for sending these in.

Published 1986, 2008, and 2017

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 9.44 out of 10)
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Feb 06

He won't be needing this 8-track player. I'll just help myself.Click for larger image

Alfred Comments: I’m so sorry. The sign said “In case of emergency break glass”. Are you OK?

Published 1963

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.80 out of 10)
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Feb 05

Bubble Pop!Click for larger image

Wendy Comments: Some Ting tells me this cover is GSS-worthy.

Published 1952

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.14 out of 10)
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Jan 31

Dreadlock SanctuaryClick for larger image

Ozzy Comments: Geordi La Forge will take any role he can get these days.

Published 1989

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.56 out of 10)
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Jan 28

Master PlumberClick for larger image

Tom Noir Comments: Not sure what is going on here but at least it seems like it… feels good?

Published 1982

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.78 out of 10)
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Jan 24

Jurassic World!Click for larger image

Raoul Comments: The Moon is not a planet.

Published 1978

You might remember this from here.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.33 out of 10)
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Jan 22

Atlas SmuggedClick for larger image

Tom Noir Comments: Incredibly some editor thought this art was so groovy that they used it twice. It also turns up as the cover of Starsongs and Unicorns by Eric Norden. The 70’s, amirite??

Published 1979

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.57 out of 10)
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Jan 17

Born To Be WiredClick for larger image

Rick Deckard Comments: Captain Flandry: Intergalactic hero and weekend cosplay Hell’s Angels re-enactor.

Published 1976

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.29 out of 10)
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Jan 09

Nip o' PatmosClick for larger image

Raoul Comments: Tony Destefano majored in right arm anatomy drawing at the Unknown Artist Institute.

Published 1973

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.22 out of 10)
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Jan 08

Before:

WTF with the perv-telescope?Click for larger image

After:

Wait until I get my hands on the guy who disabled the toilet smoke alarm!Click for larger image

It’s a Two-fer Tuesday: Andre Norton Before & After

Good Show Sir Comments:

Before: “This mission is so popular the men are dying to get in!”

After: “Damn! I thought filling the cabins with hydrogen would reduce our take-off weight!”

Published 1954

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.71 out of 10)
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