Good Show Sir

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Phil’s Art Direction: We don’t want people thinking he’s odd just because he’s tall and thin, so let’s have someone else tall and thin in the background. Then give him really odd hair.

Many thanks to Phil!

(Average: 8.52 out of 10)

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Tamsym comments: Found in a charity shop on the Isle of Wight, I’ve been looking for a home for this baby for six months. It’s got all the hallmarks of a classic: nipples – check; vacuous expression – check; absolutely no relevance to the title – check.

I’m not saying ghosts can’t be gay, mind. But you have to wonder about the plot arc, eh?

Thanks so much to Tamsyn!

(Average: 8.37 out of 10)

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Joachim Comments: A monkey woman/man (?) or is that a tail… Regardless, two sheep are required.
Published 1962

(Average: 8.49 out of 10)

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Vincent’s Art Direction: So, put an enormous crab on the cover. And, what the hey, give him a knife. No, make it a dagger. Right, then have the sacrificial victim be a young woman lying beneath the knife….perfect, that’s it!
Published 1989

(Average: 8.62 out of 10)

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Horses. Three horses to be exact! Well, lets put a generic ranger on one of them, but I was thinking of something different for the others…. Oh! A female sorcerer and a huge black samurai! Man, this is going to be a bestseller!

Thanks to CSA!

(Average: 4.16 out of 10)

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Joachim Comments: Old man breasts, stump hands, back slug, purple eggs, fanged man baby chillin’ out in one of the purple eggs while a snake bites…
Published 1976

(Average: 8.80 out of 10)

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Joachim Comments: Despite the pluralized ‘horse’ in the title, a naked redhead is far more important to include perched on “top” of the asteroid.
Published 1970

(Average: 8.60 out of 10)

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Nothinggets the attention ofwomen more than standing in the midst of an ice cavern with little clothes and showing off your bare chest. Holding your short sword in an inspiring way while standing by your Viking boat sleigh. That’s right. A boat sleigh.

(Average: 5.47 out of 10)

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Like a baseball bat to the face, we’ll hit our viewers with something special. A large forest women with rams horns and red curly hair. Perfect? Not quite. She’ll be wading her way through a swamp with another considerably smaller green tinted female watching. Now we’re perfect.

(Average: 4.32 out of 10)

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We all know what men want. Hunky muscles and tight underwear. No? Uh, strange stone monoliths? No? Leopard skin capes. No? Three horns coming out of his skull? What, seriously, no? Alright, have them all, but add two naked women caressing him. Classy eh? Actually, don’t answer me this time.

Thanks to CSA!

(Average: 8.25 out of 10)

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