Good Show Sir

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Art Direction: Lets just get Jim from accounting, he works out right? We’ll put him in my air-soft kit and spice it up a little. People who read books love that type of stuff. It will be just like a TV show, but on a book.
Published 2011

(Average: 4.82 out of 10)

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Scott B’s Art Direction: Take a woman with highly improbable hair, with a snake wrapped around her shoulders. Sexy, eh? But we need to make it all technological-like, so the snake’s actually made of fiber-optic wires or something. And throw a computer keyboard behind her, to make sure people get it. Technology! Also put a giant floating head in the background — you know I require that on all my covers!
Published 1991

(Average: 7.48 out of 10)

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Scott Comments: Listen, dude, I hate to interrupt your sword-wielding meditation, but your hairy little man is showing. Your “klesh,” your “ler,” whatever you call it…
Published 1979

(Average: 7.03 out of 10)

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Eleanor Comments: A book with the awesome title ‘Get Off the Unicorn’ features a . . . dragon?
Published 1977

(Average: 5.42 out of 10)

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MisterBoB Comments: Know anyone with a eagle tattoo on their chest?
Published 1990

A special thanks to MisterBob,
who has sent us enough covers to keep the site going for the next year or so!

(Average: 7.48 out of 10)

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Art Direction: I want this one looking exactly like a scary leaflet you’d get from some crazed new age cult! Naked opaque giant men, lens flares, rings of fire and eighties squiggles! We’ll double our congregation with this. Sorry, I mean readers… or… do I?
Published 1989

(Average: 5.85 out of 10)

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John Comments: There isn’t a joke I could make that would trump the description on the back – “The wife of a powerful figure in CA is found brutally murdered in the couple’s lonely mountain retreat. Wesley Stoneham made certain that all the evidence concerning the murderer of his wife pointed to a nearby hippie community. He had 3 goals in mind: to get rid of his wife, to drive out the hippie commune, and to enhance his own power in the state. He was at the point of achieving them all when Garnna, from the peaceful planet of Zartic finally made contact with Debby, a hippie from the commune, who had problems of her own. Then, Stoneham’s troubles began.” OF COURSE I BOUGHT THIS RIGHT AWAY!
Published 1975

Many thanks to John!

(Average: 8.48 out of 10)

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The Tim’s Art Direction: Okay, start with a monster with an improbably wide rear stance. Throw in some terrified citizens in jumpsuits. Now throw some rubble flying in impossible directions in there for good measure.
Published 1980

Rear cover here.
Many thanks to… The Tim!

(Average: 7.45 out of 10)

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I’ll tell you want you need. And skin it for free. Sorry, I mean what you need are bubble helmets and plenty of them. Nothing screams, ‘we’re in the future’ more than bubble helmets. With space suits of different unnecessarily bright colours. It’s the new retro. Or, the same as the previous retro… pretro?

(Average: 6.76 out of 10)

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We’ve both been talking this over and really there is one thing we need on our cover. A horrific font! Have it big, bold, blocky and have the ‘fought’ look like someone has tried to adjust the colour balance in photoshop and then forgot about it. For the rest, just have some women crawling out of the air vent shooting an android. But seriously, who cares about the artwork these days.

(Average: 6.58 out of 10)

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