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Jul 31

Next... on Sex in the Snow Crystal Castle of Estabreem!Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: Sick of the cheesy, over-wrought covers being inflicted on her books by artists, Mercedes Lackey hires a photographer.
Published 2009

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.37 out of 10)
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Jul 12

We may look cheesy... but at least we don't have a theme song by Adele...Click for full image

Dead Stuff with Big Teeth’s Art Direction: Gentlemen…perhaps what this cover needs is both a man, and a horse! Yes! And another man with a mullet, showing he doesn’t know how to ride a horse. And… a girl wearing nothing but body paint, standing at the top of a staircase! Because, gentlemen: nobody would otherwise pay money for something a woman has written!
(the senior partners, followed by everyone else in the room, erupt in a perfect storm of applause. The junior copyrighter wipes a tear from his eye)
Published 2003

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.37 out of 10)
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Oct 29

YyyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssClick for full image

Scott B Comments: The Day It Rained Forever… there were warning-sign-red clown faces staring regretfully at me?
Published 1974

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.37 out of 10)
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Apr 22

It’s that time of the year again where people might just get a longer weekend! And that usually means an honourable mentions but unfortunately I have been pretty ill this week and have been sitting with some soup while watching TV and reading a few books!

Anyway, instead I give you a MisterBOB mega post! He’s sent in enough covers to start a book shop so here’s a few to keep your weekend going! Enjoy your holiday weekend!

DAMN this computer! This is not the p0rn I wanted!Click for full image

MisterBob Comments: A spaceman looks out his window and sees the face of GOD!
Published 1986

Funny.. I remember wanting to do that exact thing to the railway children when having to read it in school.Click for full image

MisterBOB comments: Please, do not show that teenagers can time travel by putting a plastic bag on their head.
Published 1989

It's the punk unicorn!Click for full image

MisterBOB Comments: A particolored unicorn, so start with where the horn is, as the rest is just a horse…
Published 1987

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.37 out of 10)
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Jan 30

Darling... did you set the wedding guests on fire again?Click for full image

Tom Noir’s Art Direction: Now look Horne, you’re a good artist, but you’ve got a thing or two to learn. See, this cover of yours, it’s just not realistic. Does this guy look like he just walked out of an explosion? No. He still has body hair. The fire would have burned it all off! Take this back and I don’t want to see it again until it looks like he’s fresh from a wax job.
Published 1994

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.36 out of 10)
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Nov 29

It's cold on Venus today... those mountains are awfully perky.Click for full UNSHEEPED & UNLEWISED image

Ian Comments: No one will notice the nude lady disguised as hills and valleys. Bound to get more sales that way.
Published 1976

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.36 out of 10)
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Feb 09

Fly those spacefighters away or she gets it in the cooch.Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: I’ll save you some time looking this up: the title is an anagram for RACIER THIGHS BATTLE FEZ FOE.

Published 1983

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.36 out of 10)
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Dec 14

Everyone loves robot limbo!Click for full image

MisterBOB’s Art Direction: Make the armour shiny… it’s a David Drake book!
Published 1991

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.36 out of 10)
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Nov 12

I'm about to crank this thing to full TING!Click for full image

Tom Herring Comments: In space, no one can hear you scream. And why are you screaming? Because in space, you CAN hear THESE fingernails on a chalkboard!
Published 1981

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.36 out of 10)
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Jun 09

Lord of the Giant Turkey LegClick for larger image

Arthur Dent Comments: They haven’t invented clothes but they have they best hair stylists.

Published 1960

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.36 out of 10)
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