Good Show Sir

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Matthew’s Art Direction: So we’ll be requiring evil insect eyes and a bloomin’ great sword, oh yeah and an absurdly oversized helmet too…
Published 1987

(Average: 6.68 out of 10)

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Jon Comments: I know those Moorcock/Mayflower covers are like shooting fish in a barrel, but I needed something to go with my chips. I actually got the man himself to sign my copy recently and I told him I felt the film version was underrated. He agreed with me, with the minor change of “under” to “over”. Seemed a nice bloke, though.
Published 1973

(Average: 8.58 out of 10)

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Amy Comments: I wish this snap had turned out better but I was getting suspicious glances from the clerk at the bookstore. At any rate, high focus is not entirely necessary to appreciate a fat, be-earringed red Troll doll brandishing a sword whilst riding on an anatomically challenged horse floating above a cloud in front of an angry sun. Winds of Limbo indeed. Also, it says Moorcock *snigger*
Published 1974

WHAT?!?
Many thanks to Amy!

(Average: 8.28 out of 10)

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Art Direction: Look Moorcock’s covers are always strange. It’s like previous publishers took a handful of amphetamines before putting them to market. All we need is a big 80’s girls head floating in lots of clouds and some people on horses riding into war. No one will suspect any type of solvent abuse… well… until they read the thing!
Published 1987

(Average: 5.59 out of 10)

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Art Direction: Nothing attracts readers more than nipples! It’s a proven trend that equals one thing, money! That is unless you draw huge nipples, a huge red women with an insane sparkling mouth wearing sunglasses and a guy running from a giant pinball. Hey! Are you listening?
Published 1978

I give this a Zippy and George!

(Average: 8.89 out of 10)

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Art Direction: Now now, the naked gladiator in a helmet theme is completely in this season, so I insist! Make sure to cover his giblets in shadow because we don’t want a meat and two veg hanging out to offend readers. Side bum, is acceptable.
Published 1971

(Average: 6.34 out of 10)

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Terry’s Art Direction: The first thing that comes to mind when thinking about a cure for cancer is – naked chicks! I want you to put in 4 naked women and have their heads blowing up and an Albino man’s corpse emerging from them. Think you can do that? I know it’s a stretch, but . . .
Published 1976

I give this one Michael Crawford!
Many thanks to Terry!

(Average: 8.88 out of 10)

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David Comments: It took me a long time to notice that the naked red man with spikes on his feet and a horn in his forehead is holding his sword in a rather odd way.
Published 1973, 1974 & 1975

Many thanks to David!

(Average: 7.49 out of 10)

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Bookworm Bas Comments: A 1978 PAN edition. I like the play on words with the title submitting ‘sex’ for ‘things’ in reference to H.G.Wells. I also like the artwork. After all who doesn’t like naked women? No relation to any of the stories of course. At least I don’t recall any flying platform jetting away from a mountain range while a nude women, her decency protected only by her exceptionally long brunette hair, is overcome with emotion. Still I bet they sold a few and I reckon the hair extensions were painted in later (which is a shame I think).

(Average: 6.14 out of 10)

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Nothing sells books better than Jesus! Just look at the sales of the Bible, top seller every year. So we’ll have three crosses on a hill, that’s the Jesus part. Then some guy kneeling next to a bleeding fleshy cocoon, that’s the sci-fi part. With this cover, we’re fulfilling the prophecy! Just kidding, now get me more coffee!

(Average: 5.82 out of 10)

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