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Aug 26

The Skook

20 Comments »

This? Really? Like... Really?Click for full image

Noel Comments: Skook? You mean you don’t know what a skook is?!?
Published 1986

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.72 out of 10)
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Aug 21

Ascendant Sun

20 Comments »

Has she stopped looking? I really need to stop sucking in this gut. Click for full image

Tom Noir’s Art Direction: I want a sexy space princess trying hard not to ogle a slab of beefcake. Have her cleaning out her earwax or something.
Published 2000

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.97 out of 10)
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Aug 12

Flowers for Algernon

23 Comments »

I'm afraid I just blue myself. Click for full image

Perry Comments: My second mouse-related submission!
Published 1996

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.60 out of 10)
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Aug 10

The Paratwa

28 Comments »

They were the best interpretive dance group in the galaxy.Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: And the Hugo Award for Sweatiest Book Cover goes to…
Published 1995

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.84 out of 10)
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Jul 24

Forge of the Titans

26 Comments »

Don't go after her! Those seagulls look mighty dangerous!Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: This is taken from an actual photograph of the cover model fleeing Baen Headquarters.
Published 2005

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.03 out of 10)
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Jul 20

The Spellsong War

21 Comments »

Uh oh.. they have lightening! Quickly boys... switch to ragtime! Click for full image

B. Chiclitz Comments: “The hills are alive, With a lightning-laced wormhole, And a phallic bridge to nowhere, And a band from—wha?”
Published 1999

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.50 out of 10)
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Jun 29

Time Twister

24 Comments »

STOP STOP ALREADY... they're already dead!!!Click for full image

Peter T Comments: Not sure how you wear your pants with a tail sticking out…. or how he killed all those creatures with such an erratic gun…. Girl looks nice though….
Published 1984

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.33 out of 10)
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Apr 17

Dragonfield and Other Stories

16 Comments »

AWESOME! Can I have a go?Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: I like to think that this is a heartwarming tale of an unlikely friendship, tragically cut short when Draco sneezes.
Published 1985

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.50 out of 10)
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Apr 10

Warbots #10 – Guts and Glory

23 Comments »

ALL UR BASES ARE BELONG TO MY PECKS!Click for full glorious image

Tom Noir Comments: America’s Explosive Tomorrow – Where men are men! Except when those men are also cars. And sometimes the car men cover their crotches with hubcaps, cause that’s what car men like, OKAY? What are YOU looking at, buster?? Does this cheese grater belt make by hips look big? Dammit.
Published 1991

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.39 out of 10)
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Mar 25

Dykstra’s War

28 Comments »

Oppps...Well... that was definitely the wrong button to press!Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: There’s a lot going on on this cover, so let me break it down for you: BLAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHH!
Published 2000

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.88 out of 10)
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