Good Show Sir

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Frank Comments: In this one, we know which character on the cover is referred to by the title, because he’s the one grabbing the active element on his weapon. The mannequins would never do such a thing.
Published 1980

(Average: 6.13 out of 10)

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MisterBob’s Art Direction: A priestess with a nice cleavage and a giant bong. Don’t forget the big alien cat (blue with orange spots!)
Published 1985

(Average: 7.94 out of 10)

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Scott Comments: This little piggy levitated glowing hourglasses, this little piggy immolated itself, this little piggy performed a Satanic ritual and was possessed by a demon…
Published 1982

(Average: 6.53 out of 10)

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Rachel J’s Art Direction: Mark, *nothing* happens in this yawn-fest, so let’s go with the general girl-power-in-space-with-crystals theme from the earlier books. Pink-and-purple colour scheme, huge embossed title in neon yellow, rocketships, chick in the foreground holding up a sparkly rainbow crystal. Oh, and make her look awed. What? No, I said “awed”, not “bored!” But hey, “bored” works too.
Published 1993

(Average: 4.57 out of 10)

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Art Direction: We all know the one thing vampires suffer from. Bighanditis! What do you mean that isn’t a thing? Of course it’s a thing, a vampire thing! Look it says right here in the book of ‘Your Pay Check’! Now, just draw some kid, in a cloak, looking like he should be in a broadway musical. And make his hands BIG!
Published 1985

(Average: 8.05 out of 10)

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ash966 Comments: Why, hello there, giant-brain-eyeball-octopus-bat-guy! And what’s behind your head? It’s not the moon, because it doesn’t go all the way around. An enormous cantaloupe, perhaps?
Published 1976

(Average: 8.43 out of 10)

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Tam W’s Art Direction: This is a great work of fantasy, so naturally we want it to look as retro, cliched and formulaic as possible. I’m talking men in tights! If you do decide to depict a wizard turning into a bird, don’t forget to catch him in the act. And make it man-sized, never mind what the novel says!
Published 1975

(Average: 7.74 out of 10)

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MisterBOB’s Art Direction: I think we all know what the author means by spells, wands in children’s hands. Paint the errors involved!
Published 1989

(Average: 6.94 out of 10)

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Art Direction: We’ll have some guy looking like he’s in a furtistic space disco being attacked by a giant man with a glowing forehead. Why, you ask? Well, we all know psychic powers are clearly symbolised by a lens flare. Just like every sword is reflecting a magical light from somewhere making it go… TING!
Published 1983

(Average: 7.74 out of 10)

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Art Direction: A normal lion! That’s right, not a man lion or even a lion holding a laser rifle. You see, that guy by the water cooler was a genius! Why change a winning formula? Expect this time, leave off the sword and instead we’ll have lots of magical glowing. Magical… purple glowing!
Published 2011

(Average: 5.30 out of 10)

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