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May 30

It was then that Kate stumbled on it... the greatest book ever read... Killer Crabs vs Cat People vs Electricity Dragons... Click for full image

Sara S Comments: This cover has everything. The cat-being is looking out at the reader as if to say, ‘How do you humans like it when we dangle something in front of YOU and then snatch it away, huh?’ The cherry on top of it all is the title artist who thought, ‘Wouldn’t it be great if the preposition ‘at’ didn’t line up with any of the other words on the cover?!
Published 2005

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.21 out of 10)
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Apr 17

A great day... everywhere... for men without nipples. Click for full image

DPN Comments: Finding a bad Baen cover is like shooting fish in a barrel, while standing on a pile of corpses as the city explodes behind you, illuminating your massive pecs.
Published 2013

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.52 out of 10)
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Mar 15

In space... no one really wants to hear that anyway....Click for full image

Rachel R Comments: We apologize, ladies and gentlemen, but due to pilot fatigue we will be rerouting from our original destination Planet Professionalism to make a stop at the Space Station of Sleazy Symbolism.
Published 2005

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.07 out of 10)
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May 29

Some voices break glass, this guy seems to destroy planets.Click for slightly larger image

Alessandra Comments: Ow, ow, ow! I’m doing a dental self-exam, my back is thrown out, and I’m carrying this armful of light-sabre blades!
Published 2010

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.38 out of 10)
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May 17

Luckily for me... my body is 3 quarters legs!Click for full image

Mangraa’s Art Direction: OK, the main character’s a hot chick, so slap a Barbie head on a soldier’s body, that’ll work. Make this cover look like the end of a Michael Bay sci-fi clusterf***! I want not one, but TWO ships blasting away at her, the entire city burning, maybe throw in a lava spout just to be safe. I want NO EMPTY COVER SPACE!
Published 2004

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.65 out of 10)
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Apr 17

Giant space heads have to deal with giant pimples somehow.Click for full image

Tom Noir’s Art Direction:
“Scotty, we need more clip-art!”

“She can’t take much more captain! We push her any harder and we risk a font overload!”

“Dammit, just do it man!”
Published 1999

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.58 out of 10)
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Jan 12

HA! Look guys I touched his nipple while falling to my death!!Click for full image

Jaouad Comments: HULK ANGRY!!!! HULK THROW ALL HIS ACTION FIGURES ACROSS ROOM!!!
Published 2007

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.04 out of 10)
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Jul 05

NOOOOOOO! Why put that in italics! WHYYYY!Click for full image

Adam Comments: The men being attacked by the sinister tentacle are not, in fact, wearing white leotards. They are covered in a fine white-haired pelt. I’m not sure who in the chain of events leading to the publishing of this book was taking copious amounts of drugs.
Published 1983

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.94 out of 10)
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Oct 25

No, no - I said kick left and twirl right! Ok: from the top!Click for full image

Corwin Comments: In the future, designer space suits are in style, asynchronous space ballet is an Olympic sport, and we’ve all lost our pinkies.
Published 2008

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.12 out of 10)
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Oct 06

Best... musical.... ever....Click for full image

GK comments: Donkey Kong meets Short Round.
Published 1983

Many thanks to GK!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.97 out of 10)
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