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Nov 17

To be very fair, my dark lord. It's not exactly a hard puzzle.Click for full image

Greengerg Comments: Forge the Season of the Witch, it’s the Season of the Bull according to the back cover, and nothing says demonic violence like a fat guy with cow horns slowly being turned into a Ravensburger jigsaw puzzle.
Published 1974

Many thanks to Greengerg!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.78 out of 10)
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Nov 11

Of all the daemon summoning days to forget my satanic robes...Click for full image

Art Direction: Evil prophets go together with men wearing eyeliner like… Anyway that’s easy! Lets make any text on the cover like some sort of cryptic puzzle which will have to deciphered. What’s the book called? What’s the name the of author again? Ha! They’ll be stumped! The money will roll in!
Published Date Unknown

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.49 out of 10)
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Nov 05

Lips! LIPS! Does anyone here have lips?! GWAD!Click for full image

Art Direction: Come on, the concept is so straight forward! Like hands growing other hands sorta like flowers, while one plays a tiny trumpet. What? No I went off my medication because it was making my eyes feel furry.
Published 1975

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.87 out of 10)
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Nov 02

We're about to be drowned in milk!!!!!!Click for full image

Tom Noir’s Art Direction: That’s a really nice painting you did for the Le Guin cover, but you know what would really sell it? Incorporating this photograph of my nephew and I at the Ren Faire. Don’t be silly, my mod seventies mullet-ponytail combo looks COMPLETELY medieval.
Published 1981 (maybe)

Many thanks to Tom!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 3.93 out of 10)
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Oct 22

No! Take my wallet.. anything! Anything but my horn!Click for full image

Art Direction: The London underground, Pink Floyd concerts and the queue for Return of the Jedi. Do you know what they all have in common? They’re all… busy!! We don’t just need a strange bird attacking a unicorn, we need a full on boarder! With as much busyness as possible. I’m sure that’s sound logic… well pretty sure.
Published 1983

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.03 out of 10)
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Oct 20

Please help... I can't stand drinking any more recycled urine!Click for full image

GK’s Art Direction: What do you mean you quit! You’re fired! I’ll have someone else finish the picture!
Published 1975

Many thanks to GK!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 4.81 out of 10)
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Oct 18

LOOK it's a giant space brain! And he's got balls!Click for full image

Terry’s Art Direction: You see, nothing says ‘saving the universe from a 30,000 year descent into barbarism’ like a floating dead brain and two eyeballs. Oh, and be sure to lace it with lightning, and oh yeah it is a space story so put stars and stuff behind it.
Published 1983 (maybe)

Still not exactly sure who the publisher is.
Many thanks To Terry!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.20 out of 10)
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Oct 14

Sex? I actually reproduce via spores... ah well...Click for slightly bigger image

Hayley Comments: This is what the back-cover says, “Warning: Graphic sex between a human woman and an alien male who is anatomically different from human men!”
Published 2008

Many thanks to Hayley!
Submitted through our wonderful Facebook group!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.89 out of 10)
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Oct 12

Being chased by mice riding dogs... what a fetish...Click for full image

Glen Comments: It’s a naked man, holding a ray gun, being chased by dogs controlled by evil alien parasites from Titan, which agrees with the plot of Heinlein’s book. But why the red trilby hat? You would think that boots be more useful than a red hat, if you’re in an unclothed state on a hillside…
Published 1969

Males bums don’t need censored, right?
Many thanks to Glen!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.64 out of 10)
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Oct 08

I may be freezing and dying of hypothermia... but boy to I look good...Click for full image

Art Direction: We don’t need an artist! Have you seen what I can do with photoshop? Look, I can take this picture of Karen and… BAM… she’s blue! I know, hilarious right? And that’s not it, just cut and paste and… WHAM… she’s in a badly rendered icy landscape looking cold. Stick in the title and oh hold on, why is it behind her arm… Layers? Sounds like witchcraft to me. Finished!
Published 2004

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.25 out of 10)
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