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Mar 15

OHHH GAWWWWD I'm on a terrible sci-fi cover!Click for full image

Look, I’m all for drawing yourself on the cover – but it comes at a price. A translucent alien head staring at the reader, some lightning on the hills and (my forte) flying avocados! And I really mean avocados with pink wings. With that all there, you can just draw how you feel.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.86 out of 10)
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Mar 12

HEY! At least I'm covering my shame!Click for full image

A naked man wrestles a lion man – who is wearing a speedo I should point out – on top of a mound of fire. Yes, I did just say that out loud. And I want a huge snake in there, with a collar. And I do mean snake, that’s not a euphemism, but then again nothing to stop us from putting some ass on there too.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.95 out of 10)
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Mar 11

Dude. Awesome summoning. You never said she'd be this hot!Click for full image

When you think of a daemonic ritual you think about, gold five pointed stars, lots of gargoyle creatures sitting around and a golden sparkle female rising up in a plume of golden magic with the sharpest of teeth, right? No? Well just draw it or you don’t get paid!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.60 out of 10)
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Mar 10

Well you know what sucks... my lack of depth perception.Click for full image

Holy crap. We need something to distract from that bright silver font we’re using. So, how about a guy with an eye patch posing with weapons and a women doing the very same thing. Put a moon in the background, and by background I mean most of the cover.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.43 out of 10)
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Mar 09

Nothing can survive a strike from my ponytail!Click for full image

A collection of fantasy stories? Well I know what they’ll want. A huge barbarian with a ponytail swinging his axe at randomly placed wood. Hmm, you’re right, needs thickened out. Throw a stereotype wizard/fireball combination in there and some damsel with a sword.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.73 out of 10)
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Mar 08

Awww now that depresses me.. someones taken a bite out of my fruit.Click for full image

Thanks to Nix who says:

_Patterns of Chaos_ is a slightly famous book with a lot of amazing setpiece scenes which could have been used for the cover, starting with the destruction of entire planets, meticulously described, and ending with a transgalactic trip to a memorably unpleasant destination. If any book counts as overblown space opera, this one does.

So what did they use for the cover? A scowling cowled bloke, a weird plant, a badly-designed castle and a random number generator.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 4.28 out of 10)
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Mar 05

And they told me I wouldn't look good with a mustache. HA!Click for full image

NIPPLES? What’s this obsession with nipples going around at the moment? Well by heck, we will give them so many nipples it will burn their retinas. And semi-naked muscle clad men killing some sort of beast! Now if you thought that wasn’t manly enough, we’ll give them all tashes!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.25 out of 10)
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Mar 04

Our first date went well, 'til I got third degree burns.Click for full image

I’ve been on that Good Show Sir site and I know everything at the moment is about nipples! Here my friend we will defy convention. Cleavage but no nipples. Also, she’ll be kinda silver, jumping out of awful looking flames towards a star. Oh yeahhh, consider that convention defied!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.89 out of 10)
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Mar 03

Honey, do you mind turning around? I want to watch the football with your other half.Click for full image

Look, we need to appeal to both genders here. So we’ll have a male body fused with a female body from head to toe, in a kinda strange almost rubbery way. Obviously we’ll only show some cleavage because the last thing we’d want on there is a huge Johnson.

Thanks to Nix!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.46 out of 10)
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Mar 02

The nipples? Just to make me look good. Ohhhh yea.Click for full image

So lets say we have a black man and I really mean black. We’ll have him dressed in white skin, with nipples, because without the nipples it would just look strange. I am sure we can fob it off as social commentary. As long as we have the nipples.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.98 out of 10)
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