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Oct 30

Men... always fighting with their snakes... HEYOOOOOOO!Click for full image

Frank Comments: What’s with the nipple jewelry on the lady’s leather armor?
Published 1982

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.77 out of 10)
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Oct 25

Death Trek's hero later had his damsel taken away from him amid allegations of steroid abuse.Click for full image

MisterBOB Comments: Looks like it’s been over-painted until the paint has turned to mud.
Published 1980

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.03 out of 10)
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Oct 15

Great... now as well as carrying his sweaty ass around I have an over excited naked women... FML...Click for full UNSHEEPED image

Good Show Sir’s Art Direction: I’m still going through this in my head but surely we can have a man carrying away his damsel on a large fluffy cat beast… beast…bea…breasts! That’s it! Just make sure to have breasts on there too!
Published 1978

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.58 out of 10)
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Oct 09

Damn it... this one is more of a moaner...Click for full image

Frank Comments: Cover art by Gino D’Achille. Who I note wasn’t afraid to paint a lady warrior with a bit of convexity where her tummy should be. I approve!
Published 1978

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.90 out of 10)
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Oct 03

Dude... that monster might have an amazing ass but you don't have to look creepy about it!Click for full image

Ian Comments: Cigar smoking bunny… what more is there to say? If only that knife had a ting!
Published 1991

Maybe breaking our joke onto the genre rule… oh well.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.92 out of 10)
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Sep 25

Dude... I thought chasing a naked women couldn't get stranger... look at that guy dancing on rubbish!Click for full image

Vincent’s Art Direction: So here’s what I’m thinking. A man and a woman in a landfill. I want the woman tastefully nude, so have the man covering her naughty bits even though they’re standing about twenty feet apart. Lastly, have an army of giant preying mantises coming over the hill.
Published 1976

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.33 out of 10)
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Sep 11

One thing about living in Santa Carla I never could stomach, all the damn sexy sexy vampires.Click for full image

Jaouad’s Art Direction: Vampires? Look, I don’t care what it’s about, just give me a lingerie model, I want boobs. Oh, and a sword.
Published 2007

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.44 out of 10)
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Aug 08

Welcome to our planet. You are required to sleep with us all. My name is Carl..

Click here for new, improved Hi-Def cover picture

Frank Comments: My reaction was “It’s a trap!” In the interest of repeating the experiment, today I showed this book to another volunteer in our organization and asked her “Male or female?” She got different answers for different sides of the neck line too. I think she found this somewhat distressing.
Published 1971

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.12 out of 10)
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Aug 07

It's not pretty doctor...she suffers from tinfoil-longarm-istus!Click for full UN-CS-LEWIS’ED image

Piper’s Art Direction: What do you mean a naked Terminator woman won’t do? Fine, add another woman in the background curled up in a ball and she HAS to be naked too. That, a broken egg and some kitchen tiles and I think we’re done here.
Published 1973

 

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.73 out of 10)
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Jul 17

Space hover boards are so... phallic!Click for full image

Courtney’s Art Direction: Think Conan, but switch the genders. And make the hero basically Farrah Fawcett. And make her leg clinger, I dunno, a Pak Protector maybe? No of course I don’t know anything about the plot.
Published 1978

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.62 out of 10)
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