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Dec 07

Honourable Mentions 17

21 Comments »

Good evening, and welcome to a private showing of three paintings, displayed here for the first time. Each is a collectors’ item in its own way – not because of any special artistic quality, but because each captures on a canvas, and suspends in time and space, a frozen moment of …

OK, that’s just a Rod Serling Night Gallery quote I copped off of IMDB. But here, for your consideration, are three cover submissions that didn’t make the cut. Not because they aren’t terrible. Not because they are based on a franchise. Not because they are parody or comedy. Not because … well, just because …

 

Boob Tube?Click for larger image

Raoul Comments: That 70s Show.
Published 1975

 

I've been hitchhiking for an hour. Why can't I get a ride?Click for larger image

Alice Comments: “Let the Magic Journey begin! Oh crap. Wher’d my ass go?”.
Published 1988

 

 

Sheep!Click for larger image

Maureen Comments: Click all you want. No boobs under the sheep.
Published 1972

 

Oh, and Tag Wizard sent me this racism and dared me to post it. Now you owe me a pint:

Chinese GSS is going to have a shit fitClick for larger image

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.85 out of 10)
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Nov 29

Millennial Women

27 Comments »

Your Arms Too Short to Box with Millennial WomanClick to make arm longer

Carol Comments: Harvey Weinstein’s coming! Quick! Into the hazmat suit!

Published 1979

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.75 out of 10)
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Nov 23

The Burning

28 Comments »

Whack-a-Mole: The NovelClick for larger image

Marge Comments: My eyes! The burning!

Published 1972

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.93 out of 10)
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Aug 31

Gordon R. Dickson’s SF Best

19 Comments »

Hey, that's the flying thing I keep seeing in my shrink's ink blots!Click for larger image

Alice Comments: There’s just something not right about that cover girl.

Published 1978

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.00 out of 10)
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Jul 05

The Gods’ Temptress

24 Comments »

Ophelia Thize, Temptress of the GodsClick for larger image

Tom Noir Comments: That’s right! Show some knee, you saucy minx!

Published 1978

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.33 out of 10)
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Jun 21

The Makeshift God

34 Comments »

Makeshift Tin-foil Spaceship
Click for larger image

Good Show Sir Comments: Greetings from Corpse Mountain!

Published 1979

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.35 out of 10)
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Jul 12

Deus Irae

19 Comments »

I hate when my screen has the wrong aspect ratioClick for full image

Good Show Sir Comments: I cannot tell a lie. Giacometti over there chopped down the cherry tree.

Published 1980

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.10 out of 10)
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Mar 03

Blood Sport

29 Comments »

Come visit scenic Giant Vomit Falls!Click for full image

Good Show Sir Comments: There was a small misunderstanding when he asked his friend to go bear hunting.
Published 1974

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.51 out of 10)
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Feb 25

Wolfling

17 Comments »

Feet and faces are hard to drawClick for full image

Good Show Sir Comments: I will smite my enemies with my mighty road flare!
Published 1969

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.63 out of 10)
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Dec 17

Dr. Bloodmoney

26 Comments »

I'm picturing some kind of young David Hassellhoff Caddyshack robot - or whateverClick for full image

Good Show Sir Comments: Kill the wabbit! Kill the wabbit!
Published 1980

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.64 out of 10)
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