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Aug 20

Impaled by a F, what a way to go.Click for full image

Art Direction: We’ll draw a couple of male models on the cover with laser guns, cold room jackets and a light halo around their slicked back hair. Just like it will be in the future! Realism my boy, we need to spell this out for the readers. Well, except for the F, we’ll partially cover that later in editing!
Published 1993

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.07 out of 10)
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Aug 19

Well that's enough time looking awesome, we should get some lunch.Click for full image

David Comments: I wonder what kind of reception he gets with that helmet.
Published 1973

Half dog, half tree?
Many thanks to David!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.81 out of 10)
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Aug 18

Ah, the new grill tan is the latest look!Click for full image

Neil Comments: “The master of medical horror,” but someone has their anatomy wrong. Maybe it features a story about men with black voids for groins.
Published 1986

Many thanks to Neil!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.86 out of 10)
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Aug 17

LOOK OUT! He's got a space fork!Click for full image

Erik’s Art Direction: This is a serious book about proving that aliens exist so I want a flying saucer landing in a barren wasteland, better jazz up the saucer, maybe stick a few satellite dishes on it. Now I want he alien to be wearing overalls but make them a bit more ‘out of this world,’ stick a big collar on it. Now hair, three words – Emerson, Lake & Palmer. To finish off make it look like he has just a stream of flaming urine down his legs.
Published 1977

Not Fiction (I think) but still great.
Many thanks to Erik!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.31 out of 10)
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Aug 16

It's too early to pretend to be funny, I'm just going to leave this here and get some coffee.Click for full image

Gus Comments: The eyes have it!
Published 1979

Many thanks to Gus!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.92 out of 10)
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Aug 13

God I love these 80's power bands!Click for full image

Ashton Comments: Uh, no comment.
Published 1982

Amazing find! Thanks to Ashton!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.90 out of 10)
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Aug 12

Gorack! Stop making sweet love to my throne and help be kill tiny people!Click for full image

Kevin’s Art Direction
Creative Director:
Ok, so here’s the deal.
Artist: oh boy…
CD: I want hands coming up from the fires of hell begging for tiny people, a big throne or something and possibly some random Greek god-type things laughing it up.
Artist: oh boy…
CD: The boss just saw Iron Eagle and totally dug the font on that one. OH! And he just bought a new helicopter, so if you could throw that in everything will be great.
Published 1987

Amazing find!
Many thanks to Kevin!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.78 out of 10)
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Aug 10

My cross seems attracted to your boobs...Click for full image

Tommi’s Art Direction: A bunch of barely dressed devil-types in a tornado, going after the barely dressed voluptuous blonde (who probably twisted her ankle just a moment ago and has perfect hair) and a heavily muscled monk (in deranged wardrobe so you can see the muscles … oh and perfect hair).
Published 1983

Many thanks to Tommi!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.66 out of 10)
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Aug 05

Hamster? Gerbil? F*ck.. I don't know what he is either Officer Spider Creature.Click for full image

Nathan Comments: Timothy Zahn has a winner with the giant spider bouncy ball, peasant Tasha Yar, and a gopher mercenary? Oh and eye straining font!
Published 2006

Could this be a first? Man-gerbil?
Many thanks to Nathan!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.15 out of 10)
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Jul 29

The real lynx effect....Click for full image

Tom Noir’s Art Direction: Okay, this is a Celtic fantasy, so obviously we want a buff surfer dude who is spaced out of his gourd. What? I dunno, put him in a kilt or something. You figure it out, that’s what you’re paid for isn’t it? Anyhow, magic it up. Slap a shiny silver border on with the author’s name in a clashing red font to distract suspicious readers. Anyhoo, I gotta jet, it’s 4:20.
Published 1993

Many thanks to Tom!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.73 out of 10)
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