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Dec 06

'Damn I look good!'Click for larger image

Charles Comments: Searching for the Sun? BEHIND YOU!

Published 1983

You might remember this hairdo from here.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.22 out of 10)
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Jul 24

Obviously a Myhr-katClick for larger image

Janice Comments: Me ow! Look at the hairball I just warfed up!

Published 2003

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.74 out of 10)
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Apr 04

Blurb writer to editor: No, I wrote 'The lionlike people CAN hold a secret...'Click for full image

Victoria Poyser Comments: I swear the art editor told me over the phone to do a cover for “Planet of Whiskers.”

Published 1985

Thanks to Wendy for sending this in

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.27 out of 10)
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Dec 12

If only we could steer these things!Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: I need you to try, and try REALLY hard, not to think about where that dolphin’s blowhole is.
Published 1969

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.62 out of 10)
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Sep 27

Mac Fal's Filet-o-Fish is on the menuClick for full image

Juan Paul Comments: “Now, fish boy, what were you saying about our fashion sense?”

Published 1986

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.59 out of 10)
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Sep 15

Parents, you should expect this if you name your child BarringtonClick to make hats more ridiculous

Alice Comments: Hey Tag Wizard! You get to use your “ridiculous hat” tag again!

Published 1980

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.52 out of 10)
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Aug 04

''Call me Dick!''Click to engorge that cover image

Tom Noir Comments: What shall we discuss here? The princess on the giant bean bag bed? Blade threatening a man with a corkscrew? Or the ‘stiff breeze’ inside a room with no windows?

Published 1976

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.73 out of 10)
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Jun 27

The only vampire to die tragically choking on someone else's vomit. Click for full image

JaunPaul’s Art Direction: So what we’re looking for is a portrait of the protagonist that makes the reader want to punch the book in the face. Can you handle that?
Published 1995

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.61 out of 10)
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May 06

We need an elite team... best get Space Pope!Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: I know what you’re all saying… “This book doesn’t count! It’s clearly self-published!” Well I found in a legit bookstore, dammit, so I say it counts!
Published 2000

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.50 out of 10)
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Oct 22

Two seconds before he shoots himself in the dickClick for full image

Tom Noir Comments: Authors: do your covers often suffer from font problems? Garish costumes? Badly drawn cat people? Half-witted expressions? You may be experiencing BAEN-ITIS.

Published 2003

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.50 out of 10)
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