Good Show Sir

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Really… winning? Green? With a gold photoshop glow? Really? Well best add an exploding space ship in there too. Oh and some babe in a space suit completely ignoring the explosion. Hopefully that will distract from our winning colour.

(Average: 6.37 out of 10)

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Look, all I am saying is what good is a ‘warrior king’ unless he is the size of a building? A big building! If I was on a horse and in front of me was a massive magical warrior, glowing in the morning sun… Man, I’d run away back home and hide under my bed covers. That’s why we need this, we need it.

(Average: 5.24 out of 10)

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Just have some muscled dudes on horses, pretty much looking exactly the same. Where we will shine, my good apprentice, is in the title and border. Our colour scheme will be brown and the links will be many. And we’ll have a horse or two leaping over the border giving the viewer a 3D experience! Uhhh well, some sort of experience.

(Average: 4.69 out of 10)

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Out of the many things I have quoted which people love, I can guarantee there is nothing loved more on a cover than a good nazi! In a tank. With a huge purple nuclear explosion going off in the background. And the cover all shiny. Nothing more my friend. Nothing more.

(Average: 8.16 out of 10)

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Guy sits uncomfortably on the tail of a space shuttle. Don’t forget huge shiny text. And we’ll have to quote another one of her books, something that will really appeal to those hardcore Sci-Fi readers. Oh oh! I know. Dragons of Pern. Ace!

(Average: 6.97 out of 10)

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So this is the cover I came up with, what do you think? Tim? Paul? Guys? Did you like the inclusion of the berries, the half skull, and subtle heart monitoring line? The large glowing atom in a circle on the dudes head? I’ll take your silence as a yes.

Thanks to CSA!

(Average: 6.13 out of 10)

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I’m speechless. I asked you for a mermaid, riding a merhorse on an ocean wave with a rainbow coming out of her back. But this… this is so much more. A picture like this should be kept in the Louvre.

(Average: 8.25 out of 10)

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You know what I love when admiring the female form. If only they’d put on a robe, a death mask and pick up a scythe. Man, if we draw a women like that. Why are you looking at me like that guys? Don’t tell me you’ve never thought of it before. No? Really? Oh.

Thanks to CSA!

(Average: 8.17 out of 10)

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No man – be him a humble farmer from the old country or a tight muscled, loincloth wearing, sword wielding elite barbarian – can resist tackling his snake. So let’s have the loinclothed one waving his swords, standing triumphantly on a snake. Make the colours bright and the expressions memorable.

(Average: 8.44 out of 10)

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World gets destroyed by large alien disco balls firing lasers. Lasers that create nuclear explosions. Then we’ll have some women in a tight shirt, unbuttoned just enough to tease our readers. And like every other cover out there, she’ll be completely ignoring the fact that there is a mammoth nuclear explosion going off in the background. Women, eh?

(Average: 7.90 out of 10)

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