Good Show Sir

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Don’s Art Direction: It has dragons. People ride them. Put the woman in a swimsuit even though she’d freeze to death at that altitude. Make the guy look like some kind of alien elf, just to cover both the SF and fantasy genres. And it’s written by a chick, so do the main coloring in shades of lavender and rotting-orchid pink.
Published 1980 (maybe)

Many thanks to the Don!

(Average: 5.57 out of 10)

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Stevie Comments: Jack Chalker’s Wonderland Gambit Book 2 is wild. That hot demonic guy with a massive glowing genital lesion doing who knows what to those dudes with the plumbing coming out of their heads. Who comes up with this stuff!
Published 1996

Many thanks to Stevie!

(Average: 7.76 out of 10)

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Art Direction: We’ll have the male sitting on an Ikea chair like he’s James Bond with laser guns and space ships. We’ll put him in some sort of spandex suit with knee pads and fob that off as armour. With the girl lets go for nudity but we’ll photoshop in some clothes later. What we really want is, plenty of side boob! Therefore appealing to both genders… right?
Published 2010

(Average: 8.42 out of 10)

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Eric Comments: The ironic thing about this one is that the cover depicts an actual portion of the story. Accurately. Really. It is a good book, regardless of how it’s clad.
Published 1986

Many thanks to Eric!

(Average: 2.98 out of 10)

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Art Direction: Kinda like those raunchy romance book covers with real people. Expect with a magical dragon and a hunky wizard waving around his magical staff. Who wouldn’t want to sleep with a guy who dresses like a wizard? Actually… good point… make sure to hire a model.
Published 2003

(Average: 4.84 out of 10)

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Ashton Comments: Usually when there’s a naked woman on the front of a book it’s to titillate the viewer, but this brave artist went against convention and made the most unappealing cover he could think of.
Published 1989

Many thanks to Ashton!

(Average: 8.16 out of 10)

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Stevie Comments: Samuel Delaney’s Neveryona is so-over-the-top hetero soft porn. And the lead character is supposedly gay! What a bubble butt he’s got! I wish I had one of those! And what’s he doing with that giant sword, anyway?
Published 1983

Amazing! Many thanks to Stevie!

(Average: 7.90 out of 10)

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Noah Comments: …
Published 1977

Many thanks to Noah!

(Average: 7.79 out of 10)

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Jen Comments: This photo doesn’t really do justice to just how wrinkled the man is. But hey, it’s Merlin (I think). He can wear a Godawful headdress and stand in the middle of the ocean if he wants to.
Published 1979

Many thanks to Jen!

(Average: 7.73 out of 10)

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David Comments: Eric Brighteyes by H Rider Haggard (1891) was set in the Viking Age. I have no idea where he found the bikini babe, ray gun or early model Bluetooth headset.
Published 1978

Vikings had lasers… right?
Many thanks to David!

(Average: 8.26 out of 10)

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