Good Show Sir - Only the worst Sci-fi/Fantasy book covers

Aug 22

Store of Infinity

Oh, snap! Click for larger image

Malcolm Comments: Hey! Who filled the sex dolls with helium?!

Published 1960

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!

I would touch it without protective gloves.

I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.

Interesting, but I would still read it in public.

Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully good

Would not like to be seen reading that!

Awful... just awful...

That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!

Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!

Good Show Sir!

(Average: 6.87 out of 10)

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Tagged with: Bantam Books • floating person • hunkbutt • little people • Robert Sheckley • Sir Mix-A-Lot • starkers • Unknown Artist Institute • WTF

Aug 15

Sir Dominic Flandry: The Last Knight of Terra

Lust Night of Terror Click to engorge that sword

Bibliomancer Comments: I’ll take “Penis Mightier Than The Sword” for $100 Alex!

Published 2010

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!

I would touch it without protective gloves.

I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.

Interesting, but I would still read it in public.

Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully good

Would not like to be seen reading that!

Awful... just awful...

That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!

Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!

Good Show Sir!

(Average: 5.76 out of 10)

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Tagged with: arms akimbo • Baen Books • damsel • David Seeley • devil's dumplings • Dominic Flandry Series • dude • Earth • glow • lady parts • mighty moustache • penis pump • Poul Anderson • shoulder pads • spiffy uniform • starkers • the pencil is mightier than the sword

Aug 13

The Presence

Adam and Eve. Eatin' shrooms. Good times. Click for larger image

Dionysius Rogers Art Direction: Don’t we have some rejected cover art for that last printing of Stranger in a Strange Land? Where there’s a burning, lightning-struck monster in the middle of it for some reason?

Published 1977

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!

I would touch it without protective gloves.

I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.

Interesting, but I would still read it in public.

Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully good

Would not like to be seen reading that!

Awful... just awful...

That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!

Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!

Good Show Sir!

(Average: 7.76 out of 10)

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Tagged with: damsel • Don Ivan Punchatz • dude • Earth • Fawcett Books • fire • fungi • lightning • Rodger Clemens • spectacular space chart • starkers • strange creature • tree • underwater

Aug 01

This Rough Magic

fonTing! Click for larger image

Alice Comments: “[Each word is spelled with] convincing characters [You’ll only read this if you’re drunk so eat some mints to stay] breathless [There is no] action [so you’d better make that drink a double] old fashioned [The proofreaders need to work on their] reading fun[damentals]”

Published 2005

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!

I would touch it without protective gloves.

I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.

Interesting, but I would still read it in public.

Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully good

Would not like to be seen reading that!

Awful... just awful...

That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!

Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!

Good Show Sir!

(Average: 6.33 out of 10)

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Tagged with: Baen Books • damsel • Dave Freer • Eric Flint • font problems • fonTing! • lady parts • Larry Dixon • Mercedes Lackey • starkers • statuesque • Ting!

Jul 24

The Waters of Centaurus

You're busted! Click for larger image

Raoul Comments: “Hey! My lady-parts are down here!”

Published 1972

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!

I would touch it without protective gloves.

I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.

Interesting, but I would still read it in public.

Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully good

Would not like to be seen reading that!

Awful... just awful...

That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!

Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!

Good Show Sir!

(Average: 3.43 out of 10)

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Tagged with: cape • cleavage • damsel • Gene Szafran • lady parts • Lancer Science Fiction • nip slip • ridiculous hat • Rosel George Brown • sexytime • starkers

Jul 11

Carnacki the Ghost-Finder

'Why am I chained to this pig?' - The Pig Click for larger image

Bibliomancer Comments: Who ya gonna call?! Car-nack-i!

Published 1973

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!

I would touch it without protective gloves.

I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.

Interesting, but I would still read it in public.

Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully good

Would not like to be seen reading that!

Awful... just awful...

That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!

Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!

Good Show Sir!

(Average: 9.05 out of 10)

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Tagged with: anatomical issues • Bob Haberfield • bug-eyed • chain • dude • Panther Books • pig • starkers • wasteland • William Hope Hodgson • WTF

Jun 05

New Writings in SF.27

Another brilliant Zeus disguise Click for larger image

Rick Deckard Comments: “If I said I didn’t love you I’d be lion”

You might remember this series from here and here.

Published 1977

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!

I would touch it without protective gloves.

I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.

Interesting, but I would still read it in public.

Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully good

Would not like to be seen reading that!

Awful... just awful...

That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!

Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!

Good Show Sir!

(Average: 6.35 out of 10)

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Tagged with: animals with faces • beard-wielding • Corgi Books • damsel • devil's dumplings • dome • forest • George Underwood • Kenneth Bulmer • lion people • moon • New Writings In SF series • once you see it • sexytime • space sheep • starkers • WTF

May 29

The Sword of the Dawn

It's a squizzard! Click for larger image

Lillie Awesome Comments: I’m not sticking around for the second sword stroke.
Published 1977

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!

I would touch it without protective gloves.

I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.

Interesting, but I would still read it in public.

Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully good

Would not like to be seen reading that!

Awful... just awful...

That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!

Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!

Good Show Sir!

(Average: 6.79 out of 10)

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Tagged with: bladed weapons • DAW Books • dude looks like a lady • lizards • Michael Moorcock • Richard Clifton-Dey • space sheep • squids and nudes • Squizzard! • starkers • tentacles

Apr 24

The Best From Fantasy & Science Fiction

The hookah-smoking caterpillar went thataway Click for larger image

Sgt Rock vs. Asterixy Click for larger image

It’s a Two-fer Tuesday: Worst of the Best from F&SF

Ace E. Doocy Comments:

1. The FBI Taint Team swings into action.

2. Better add a rocket or they’ll never know it’s science fiction.

Published 1962, 1975

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!

I would touch it without protective gloves.

I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.

Interesting, but I would still read it in public.

Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully good

Would not like to be seen reading that!

Awful... just awful...

That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!

Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!

Good Show Sir!

(Average: 7.21 out of 10)

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Tagged with: Ace Books • Alfred Bester • Anthony Boucher • ax-wielding • bladed weapons • Ed Valigursky • Edward L. Ferman • font problems • Frederik Pohl • frog people • fungi • Harlan Ellison • hunkbutt • Joseph Lombardero • male skirts • mullet • pointing • Poul Anderson • rocket • shuriken of approval • skulls a-poppin' • sky-eyes • soldier • starkers • Stephen Tall • two-fer

Apr 12

Basilisk

Basil is Kray Click for larger image

Bellatrix Comments: Cool it Xena! It’s just a joke. You’re not going to report me to H.R., are you?
Published 1980

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!

I would touch it without protective gloves.

I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.

Interesting, but I would still read it in public.

Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully good

Would not like to be seen reading that!

Awful... just awful...

That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!

Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!

Good Show Sir!

(Average: 5.95 out of 10)

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Tagged with: Ace Books • BEHIND YOU! • bladed weapons • capes • cleavage • damsel • Ellen Kushner • font problems • hunkbutt • jazz hands • Joan D. Vinge • loincloth • Michael Bishop • people with tails • R.A. Lafferty • Rowena Morrill • semi-transparent • starkers • Unicorns! • Ursula K. Le Guin • WTF

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