Good Show Sir

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Art Direction: We’ll have the male sitting on an Ikea chair like he’s James Bond with laser guns and space ships. We’ll put him in some sort of spandex suit with knee pads and fob that off as armour. With the girl lets go for nudity but we’ll photoshop in some clothes later. What we really want is, plenty of side boob! Therefore appealing to both genders… right?
Published 2010

(Average: 8.42 out of 10)

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Eron Comments: This cover is particularly appalling because of it’s simplicity. We get the text: Unicorns. Peace. Then the image: Unicorn. Twilight. BIG ORANGE Unicorn. Castle. Sure. Also, it seems to me that something is wrong on the perspective on the unicorn… it’s sort of falling on it’s side if I’m seeing it correctly?

Many thanks to Eron!

(Average: 6.48 out of 10)

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When you think of a daemonic ritual you think about, gold five pointed stars, lots of gargoyle creatures sitting around and a golden sparkle female rising up in a plume of golden magic with the sharpest of teeth, right? No? Well just draw it or you don’t get paid!

(Average: 8.40 out of 10)

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Doctor: It’s alright Madame, your Son simply has a case of the TeenFlu.
Concerned Mother: Thank you doctor, is there anything I can do for him?
Doctor: Well, I prescribe some awesome red and yellow training warrior monks, a large dude in a kimono and a busty women in a gold bikini grasping her short sword. Here, take this book.
Concerned Mother: Uh… you’re a medical doctor right?
Doctor: My doctorate came in a toblerone box.
Concerned Mother: Ohhhhhhh K, well I’ll be going.

(Average: 8.18 out of 10)

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J.R.R. Tokin Comments: She is proficient in ASSembly Language

Published 1973

(Average: 2.38 out of 10)

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Jun Comments: Octopus + scantily dressed woman + Conan lookalike = classic fantasy cover.
Published 1976

(Average: 3.92 out of 10)

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Bibliomancer’s Art Direction:OK so you painted an awesome space fire monster, and the iron moons are cool, and you even got the starfield in the corner, but aren’t you forgetting something? Yeah, girl ass. And make it blue. She’s an alien. You think these paperbacks just sell themselves?”
Published 1971

(Average: 5.20 out of 10)

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Rachel R Comments: We apologize, ladies and gentlemen, but due to pilot fatigue we will be rerouting from our original destination Planet Professionalism to make a stop at the Space Station of Sleazy Symbolism.
Published 2005

(Average: 7.79 out of 10)

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Frank Comments: Another work re-issued with new title and new cover. There was a previous publication of it as “The Radio Man” in 1924.
Published 1950

(Average: 8.00 out of 10)

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Joachim Comments: Ok, “Time of a change” of fashion… White undies, white sunglasses, and weird glass head covers doesn’t really cut it…
Published 1969, aka Snow White and the Giants

(Average: 8.20 out of 10)

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