Good Show Sir

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You know the two things that make everything look fantastic? Glow and blur. The best photoshop tools money can buy. So we’ll have a glowing blurry tattooed man with a wolves head! And some girl with some glowly blurry transparency around her. Make sure the title is huge and don’t forget to blur what you can.

(Average: 5.63 out of 10)

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OH OH OH! Let’s have a half naked man grasping his magic electrified sword around waist height. That sounds suggestive? Of course it is, he’s holding a sword right next to his baby maker. A ha ha ha. Don’t forget to overload the whole cover with text, a lot of text, in all shapes and sizes.

(Average: 8.46 out of 10)

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You know what you thought? You thought, you’d seen everything anyone could possibly do with a dragon. Well, you’re wrong. Three words for you to eat today, ‘Dragons In Space’! Oh yes, and trying to decipher the controls of a space ship! I mean, dragons can read, right?

(Average: 5.57 out of 10)

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We all know what men want. Hunky muscles and tight underwear. No? Uh, strange stone monoliths? No? Leopard skin capes. No? Three horns coming out of his skull? What, seriously, no? Alright, have them all, but add two naked women caressing him. Classy eh? Actually, don’t answer me this time.

Thanks to CSA!

(Average: 8.25 out of 10)

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A hunky half-naked muscle encrusted man standing in a strange mist, while casting a magic fireball from his hand. The book’s called flame, so how could we not have one! Though, to go one step further, have him looking thoughtfully at the fire in his hand. That way people will think he’s all sensitive and deep.

(Average: 8.24 out of 10)

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Realism is our key to success. I’m talking about a dude in a space suit and a very large dome helmet. The face inside must be like a photograph so people can really imagine the scene is real. Don’t forget the explosions, lasers and space robots!

(Average: 7.74 out of 10)

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In the future pilots won’t just be piloting boring old planes or space ships. No! They’ll be piloting space scooters! Retro space scooters!! Going from space station to station, wearing their retro spacesuits and carrying their cargo of little blue blobs with little tentacles. No? Well, just draw it and hopefully it will come true by 2010.

Thanks to Dave K!

(Average: 8.43 out of 10)

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Draw a few dinosaurs and some people jet-packing around the planet. That way we have both words of the title covered. Though, concentrate on the title, huge black box, every word highlighted with something awesome. You don’t know what that means? For God’s sake man, like, put the word ‘Anne’ in an orange diamond shape. That’s the type of awesome I’m talking about!

(Average: 6.40 out of 10)

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The year was 1967… it was the summer of love and we sat the whole team around a field and…… I almost remembered something there…. but it’s gone. When we all awoke three days later we had this.

(Average: 6.15 out of 10)

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With books today, you know what people are too obsessed with? That’s right, art! Why not (and you are going to love this) just have a female model dressed up as a pirate, teasing a little as she holds her swords to her lofty chest. With the addition of a terrible font we’ll draw a completely accurate picture of how things were like in ‘ye olden days.’

(Average: 7.24 out of 10)

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