Feb 20
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Diggler’s Art Direction: What we need is a man in a hot tub doing some New Wave Impressionistic dance moves for his girlfriend on the video phone. Meanwhile we’ll have him being squirted by red dye for artistic effect… What do you think?
Published 1982
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Tagged with: damsel • dude • jazz hands • Larry Niven • lens flare • muscles • once you see it • Orbit Books • Peter Jones • space • starkers • Ting! • WTF
Feb 17
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Frank Comments: I didn’t realize that coffee, cigarettes, and cheap women were that much of a secret. Maybe it’s the intravenous delivery, or the soaking in it, or the little marshmallows.
Published 1976
You might remember this from here. And here.
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Tagged with: Ace Books • Bart Forbes • damsel • dude • floating face • people in bottles • Philip José Farmer • starkers • WTF
Feb 15
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Libraryman Comments: I just don’t understand what good those wings will be.
Published 1984
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Tagged with: Bantam Books • damsel • dragon • dude • Elizabeth Scarborough • lizards • monsters • tights • Unknown Artist Institute
Feb 10
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Rachel J’s Art Direction: Mark, *nothing* happens in this yawn-fest, so let’s go with the general girl-power-in-space-with-crystals theme from the earlier books. Pink-and-purple colour scheme, huge embossed title in neon yellow, rocketships, chick in the foreground holding up a sparkly rainbow crystal. Oh, and make her look awed. What? No, I said “awed”, not “bored!” But hey, “bored” works too.
Published 1993
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Tagged with: Anne McCaffrey • Corgi Books • crystal • damsel • glow • magic • Mark Harrison • space ships • WTF
Feb 08
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Claire’s Art Direction: Hum, riders on the wind. Well obviously lots of wind in a pretty colour, and a rider – I know, a naked chick with body tats. Throw in some standard fantasy stuff, like a castle and a wizard dude et voila!
Published 1988
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Tagged with: Ace Books • castle • cleavage • damsel • Darrell K. Sweet • devil's dumplings • font problems • horses • Jack L. Chalker • space sheep • Wizaaaaaaaard!
Feb 01
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Marcus’ Art Direction: Fredric Brown mostly wrote short stories with twist endings. So let’s have a twist ending to the cover! But, at the same time, semi-naked women sell books. So we should have one of them. Not too big, though, we want lots of nice black space around.
Published 1980
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Tagged with: Bantam Books • cleavage • damsel • devil's dumplings • Fredric Brown • planets • space • space sheep • Unknown Artist Institute • WTF
Jan 30
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Tom Noir’s Art Direction: Now look Horne, you’re a good artist, but you’ve got a thing or two to learn. See, this cover of yours, it’s just not realistic. Does this guy look like he just walked out of an explosion? No. He still has body hair. The fire would have burned it all off! Take this back and I don’t want to see it again until it looks like he’s fresh from a wax job.
Published 1994
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Tagged with: Avonova Books • casually walking away from an explosion • damsel • Daniel Horne • dude • font problems • muscles • scrolls • shiny • Song of Albion series • Stephen R. Lawhead
Jan 25
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Updated IMAX version of cover
Joachim’s Art Direction: “Raw adventure” — with a whip, in underwear, make sure there’s a rocket… you know what I mean… it’s science fiction.
Published 1974
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Tagged with: chains • Charles Moll • damsel • dude • font problems • geometric oddities • John Robert Russell • loincloth • Pocket Books • space ship • thong • underwear model • whip it good • WTF
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