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Dec 03

Burn the cover, burn it!Click for full image

Imagine this. The cover of the book, on the cover of the book.. wait for it .. being struck by lightning and going on fire! Don’t worry about drawing another cover on the cover that’s on the cover.With this we will blow peoples minds.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.15 out of 10)
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Nov 16

Gahhhaaa it burns, it burns.... but I look so good....Click for full image

A hunky half-naked muscle encrusted man standing in a strange mist, while casting a magic fireball from his hand. The book’s called flame, so how could we not have one! Though, to go one step further, have him looking thoughtfully at the fire in his hand. That way people will think he’s all sensitive and deep.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.24 out of 10)
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Oct 08

She made us stand like this till someone turned up to see how awesome we are.Click for full image

WELLL! How about Lois sitting on a rocking chair right next to a lovely log fire with a couple of cats curled up nicely beside her. To amplify the warmness we’ll have three people in space-age uniforms standing right best her, one of them holding a laser rifle. And for the finishing touch, put a mustache and bandana in there too.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.25 out of 10)
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Oct 05

I must look so dam awesome right about now!Click for full image

Well, we’ve got the red on there, ’cause of fire being in the title. We’ve got the epic dragon and the merlin esk wizard with his magic orb. But we’re missing something. Something that’s going to make someone pick up the book and think, ‘this is the one.’ Of course!! Surround the title in an awesome gold shiny goodness!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 4.26 out of 10)
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Sep 22

God, look at the dirt in this cave. It's like he just shits....he's behind me isn't he?Click for full image

I’m not one to stray from tradition. I’m talking about a dragon in the background, as black as…. uh… AC/DC? Peering at our antagonist will be a huge white wolf and her damsel companion holding the tiniest of flames. Remember, I am also talking traditional proportions here, so make sure nothing is sized relative to anything else. Now who’s up for some Hells’ Bells?

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.80 out of 10)
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Aug 26

No no... I'm pretty sure watching this movie will completely tell us how to defeat a dragon.Click for full image

You know what always bugged the hell out of me about the whole north verses south thing? No dragons or magic crystal orbs. The north frees the south of: dragons! Right there on the cover, with King Lincoln watching the battle on his orb! It almost makes me proud to be Americaglish… or whatever.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.41 out of 10)
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Aug 21

Dam it, I blew this all up again. If only I had depth perception.Click for full image

Hey guys, well I have the chips, beers, d20’s, cigars ….. and so I told them for the cover just put a large cybernetic cat man pondering meanly into the distance whilst standing in the midst of an exploded wasteland. *coughs* Why are you looking at me like that? …. Oh right, I forgot the dip!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.16 out of 10)
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Aug 17

My gun is so powerful I blow away cities...Click for full image

OK! Get ready ’cause here comes the cover train and we’re about to jump right on it! One, a hunky topless man holding his huge gun. Two, a post-apocalyptic scene in the background. Three, the author’s name in terrible fonts and way larger than the actual book title. Four, did I mention muscles…mmm, MMM! Wooo woo all aboard!!!!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.32 out of 10)
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Aug 04

Cover yourself up women! Yer distracting my lizard!Click for full image

You know the two things I love: big bosomed women and lizards. Have them woven in an epic battle, lizard versus women as she tries to slice at it with her magical blade. Don’t go all crazy on me though, concentrate on the boobs.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.05 out of 10)
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Apr 20

Click for full image

Well I had this vision of a character with a waist coat, kinda like the cover of that book “Alien Infulences”.. but make it a women just in case someone catches on. You know the way magic is normally represented by lens flares? At least six of them please! We’ll completely pwn Rusch!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.76 out of 10)
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