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Aug 16

It's too early to pretend to be funny, I'm just going to leave this here and get some coffee.Click for full image

Gus Comments: The eyes have it!
Published 1979

Many thanks to Gus!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.85 out of 10)
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Aug 13

God I love these 80's power bands!Click for full image

Ashton Comments: Uh, no comment.
Published 1982

Amazing find! Thanks to Ashton!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.90 out of 10)
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Aug 12

Gorack! Stop making sweet love to my throne and help be kill tiny people!Click for full image

Kevin’s Art Direction
Creative Director:
Ok, so here’s the deal.
Artist: oh boy…
CD: I want hands coming up from the fires of hell begging for tiny people, a big throne or something and possibly some random Greek god-type things laughing it up.
Artist: oh boy…
CD: The boss just saw Iron Eagle and totally dug the font on that one. OH! And he just bought a new helicopter, so if you could throw that in everything will be great.
Published 1987

Amazing find!
Many thanks to Kevin!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.78 out of 10)
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Aug 10

My cross seems attracted to your boobs...Click for full image

Tommi’s Art Direction: A bunch of barely dressed devil-types in a tornado, going after the barely dressed voluptuous blonde (who probably twisted her ankle just a moment ago and has perfect hair) and a heavily muscled monk (in deranged wardrobe so you can see the muscles … oh and perfect hair).
Published 1983

Many thanks to Tommi!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.66 out of 10)
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Aug 05

Hamster? Gerbil? F*ck.. I don't know what he is either Officer Spider Creature.Click for full image

Nathan Comments: Timothy Zahn has a winner with the giant spider bouncy ball, peasant Tasha Yar, and a gopher mercenary? Oh and eye straining font!
Published 2006

Could this be a first? Man-gerbil?
Many thanks to Nathan!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.15 out of 10)
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Jul 29

The real lynx effect....Click for full image

Tom Noir’s Art Direction: Okay, this is a Celtic fantasy, so obviously we want a buff surfer dude who is spaced out of his gourd. What? I dunno, put him in a kilt or something. You figure it out, that’s what you’re paid for isn’t it? Anyhow, magic it up. Slap a shiny silver border on with the author’s name in a clashing red font to distract suspicious readers. Anyhoo, I gotta jet, it’s 4:20.
Published 1993

Many thanks to Tom!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.73 out of 10)
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Jul 28

Unicorns are just more comfortable to ride than horses. Plus the chicks love it.Click for full image

Anders Art Direction: A pack of profoundly stoned giant proboscis monkeys in a garden! Nails in his nostrils! Both of them! Wha’? The cover? Knights and princesses and shit. You know, the usual.
Published 2002

Many thanks to Ander!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.49 out of 10)
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Jul 27

You have mighty claws yet you choose a stick to defend yourself?Click for full image

Sarah’s Art Direction: So there’s this guy, right? And he’s a lobster. But not really a lobster! Just has a lobster body. Uh, and really skinny arms. And he’s got a parrot for a sidekick, but get this — the parrot is a lobster, too! You getting all of this down, Steve? Ooh, maybe thrown in one of those “Manamanah” things from The Muppets, too. People love those.
Published 1978

Lets just see who that killer crab from the other day really is!
Many thanks to Sarah!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.02 out of 10)
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Jul 26

Nooooo not like this... not like this....Click for full image

Carolyn Comments: You can probably analyze this better than I! I assume the artist just read the jacket blurb.
Published 1977

“Imagine: Gorilla-shaped bismuth junkies who stack their dead ancestors like cordwood in the living room; gentle souls who can touch with a touch or a thought. A throwback fiefdom on a planet where huge poisonous bats rule the night sky, where serpents the size of semi-trailers slither though the rotting jungle. A sarcastic mansized beetle that’s a Talmudic scholar and swears like a longshoreman. And claims to be immortal. All in a life’s work for Otto McGavin: Prime Operator for the TBII, undercover guardian of the rights of aliens and humans under the Confederacion.”

Mmm… uhh… seriously? That snake doesn’t look too happy.
Outstanding! Good Show Carolyn!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.90 out of 10)
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Jul 23

 

Ow ow OW! Flying this is actually incredibly uncomfortable!Click for full image

Art Direction: I looked, and there before me was a pale Pegasus! It’s rider was named Martin, the local high school geography teacher.
Published 1994

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.58 out of 10)
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