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Nov 30

God, why did I shave my armpits?Click for full image

I’ve heard on the grapevine that science fiction slash fantasy readers only want one thing. Naked women! What’s with that, eh? What we need are dudes. The type that make you feel really uncomfortable. No mention of fantasy or anything. Just a dude and… The Quest!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.82 out of 10)
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Nov 18

I'll dagger it, Samuel you can fire magic at it, Dan you sword it... and Liz... uh wave your hands at it.Click for full image

Hmm, putting on our thinking caps here. ‘Servant of the Dragon’ …. Servant …. Dragon… DRAGON.. of course! Lets have a huge scary, bird! It makes complete sense. We’ll have wizards, swords men and damsels fighting it. One word to descibe my idea, epic!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.58 out of 10)
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Nov 03

Wow... I'm thinking....we.. should.. have just gone to the gym now.Click for full image

Well I asked my teenage son and he said, “Running, running women, with barely any clothes, a mass amount of muscles, two of them running in the desert wilderness towards victory.” Just kidding, I said that. Best throw in a flying robot and a dragon to chase after them. There’s no better running motivation than death, eh!

Thanks to Dave K!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.43 out of 10)
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Oct 19

Look, over there! Another stereotype to join our party!Click for full image

A hunky swordsman, an old Robin Hood character, and a strange female sorceress. Now, because our trio are wanting to keep themselves undercover, give the hunky one a Zorro mask to cover his eyebrows and nose. No-one will ever know his true identity. No-one!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 4.33 out of 10)
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Oct 05

I must look so dam awesome right about now!Click for full image

Well, we’ve got the red on there, ’cause of fire being in the title. We’ve got the epic dragon and the merlin esk wizard with his magic orb. But we’re missing something. Something that’s going to make someone pick up the book and think, ‘this is the one.’ Of course!! Surround the title in an awesome gold shiny goodness!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 4.04 out of 10)
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Sep 22

God, look at the dirt in this cave. It's like he just shits....he's behind me isn't he?Click for full image

I’m not one to stray from tradition. I’m talking about a dragon in the background, as black as…. uh… AC/DC? Peering at our antagonist will be a huge white wolf and her damsel companion holding the tiniest of flames. Remember, I am also talking traditional proportions here, so make sure nothing is sized relative to anything else. Now who’s up for some Hells’ Bells?

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.00 out of 10)
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Aug 11

God Shella, you told that guy about my small girth didn't you!?Click for full image

Well I want a red headed women talking to a camp looking dragon while she shows a bit of leg. Andre.. stop laughing! It’s not like your covers are any better! Jeeeezz… Ah F it.. just put a well built guy laughing his ass off in the background. That can be you Andre…you knob.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.54 out of 10)
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Aug 06

And I raise your stereotype with my light beam!Click for full image

Two words for you…. pirates vs kinky police officers. Well you know what I mean! Have the officers in long knee highs and holding a large batons. Have a large magic beam hitting a stereotypical pirate in the chest and him grimacing in pain. It’s almost too perfect.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.35 out of 10)
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May 26

My god... You're loincloth hides nothing... just kill me already...Click for full image

A huge hunky man with bulging muscles and a loincloth that just about covers his ass with a sword symbolically hanging down from it. Oh and have him holding a huge spear with his taught sweaty arms.Wait – better make this a little less fabulous – add in a dragon that he might be about to kill… or seduce….

Thanks to CSA!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.85 out of 10)
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May 19

I can completely see down your top from this angle, awesome!Click for full image

Leaping to the stars! That’s what I am calling it but I was kinda thinking that we could just have a man in a jumpsuit and a women leaping up some sort of engineering shaft. Not quite the stars but I am sure the buyers will appreciate that we included the leaping part!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.34 out of 10)
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