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Sep 21

Sweet Gwad! What's that raccoon doing to that rabbit!?Click for full image

George Comments: I feel as if there were drinking involved in the making of this design cover. Or drugs. Or rabies. I think this is what happens when clip art and Photoshop get used in the most horrible ways possible. EVERYTHING is horrifying in this cover. Does anything really need to be said? Just looking at this cover says it all.
Published 2009

Many thanks to George!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.92 out of 10)
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Sep 17

After working out all day and doing my hair there is nothing more I enjoy than, casting my level 15 summon dragon spell!!!Click for full image

Flip it around and zoom in... people will never know...Click for full image

Art Direction: Kinda like those raunchy romance book covers with real people. Expect with a magical dragon and a hunky wizard waving around his magical staff. Who wouldn’t want to sleep with a guy who dresses like a wizard? Actually… good point… make sure to hire a model.
Published 2003

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 4.88 out of 10)
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Sep 16

My PHD is in cosmicomics... yes... I did just make that up....Click for full image

Cliftopher’s Art Direction: Give me a dinosaur with a baby’s head. A freakin’ big dinosaur with a really little baby’s head. And while you’re at it put some kind of mountain like a man in the background.
Published 1982

Many thanks to Cliftopher!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.32 out of 10)
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Sep 07

Oh that's not a snake wrapped around my leg, it's my 'magical sword!'Click for full image

David Comments: Eric Brighteyes by H Rider Haggard (1891) was set in the Viking Age. I have no idea where he found the bikini babe, ray gun or early model Bluetooth headset.
Published 1978

Vikings had lasers… right?
Many thanks to David!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.45 out of 10)
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Aug 31

He may be the evil sorcerer Zog, but he can put on one hell of a fireworks show.Click for full image

Stevie Comments: Jack L Chalker’s Songs of the Dancing Gods cover is bizarre! Crazy wizards, super sultry fairy-women in red and green and a huge mack truck running thru everything. What’s all that crazy action supposed to tell the prospective reader?
Published 1991

Wow, thanks to Stevie!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.83 out of 10)
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Aug 20

Impaled by a F, what a way to go.Click for full image

Art Direction: We’ll draw a couple of male models on the cover with laser guns, cold room jackets and a light halo around their slicked back hair. Just like it will be in the future! Realism my boy, we need to spell this out for the readers. Well, except for the F, we’ll partially cover that later in editing!
Published 1993

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.07 out of 10)
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Aug 18

Ah, the new grill tan is the latest look!Click for full image

Neil Comments: “The master of medical horror,” but someone has their anatomy wrong. Maybe it features a story about men with black voids for groins.
Published 1986

Many thanks to Neil!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.86 out of 10)
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Aug 17

LOOK OUT! He's got a space fork!Click for full image

Erik’s Art Direction: This is a serious book about proving that aliens exist so I want a flying saucer landing in a barren wasteland, better jazz up the saucer, maybe stick a few satellite dishes on it. Now I want he alien to be wearing overalls but make them a bit more ‘out of this world,’ stick a big collar on it. Now hair, three words – Emerson, Lake & Palmer. To finish off make it look like he has just a stream of flaming urine down his legs.
Published 1977

Not Fiction (I think) but still great.
Many thanks to Erik!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.31 out of 10)
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Aug 13

God I love these 80's power bands!Click for full image

Ashton Comments: Uh, no comment.
Published 1982

Amazing find! Thanks to Ashton!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.90 out of 10)
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Aug 09

Lipstick... really?Click for full image

Shelley’s Art Direction: We’re looking for a sort of lion-centaur. And a spaceship. And gore. And…could you do something with foreshortened perspective? Thanks.
Published 1977

That is… awesome.
Many thanks to Shelley!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.19 out of 10)
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